substance abuse

Hello everyone, this is more of a sharing post, although some advice or comments are much appreciated.
I have officially bean clean for 6 months....aside from marijuana, I have been clean for a year and half....I am very proud of this...especially considering I was a user for 10 years...despite being free now, I still act like a drug addict. I still obsess and find it difficult to get through stressful situations without craving. The fact that I do not give in, is a strong point, but I think it is more due to the difficulty in attaining the substance I so strongly desire than my own will.
Instead of drowning myself in drugs, I lose control and get very angry, and have uncontrollable crying spells which bring down those around me. I am still losing everyone around me even though I am drug free.
Will this ever stop? I know things do not come easily...but it has been a very trying year and I do not see any results aside from being clean.
I guess I was under the impression that I could ride the natural high of being drug free...this just does not work.
I still feel like a drug addict....I am so tired of hearing "it takes time..."
..............

Becoming drug free leaves a void that the drugs once filled. Until you find healthy alternatives to fill the void, you likely will be humming that Peggy Lee song, Is That All There Is? http://popup.lala.com/popup/576742296245050749

What a sad song. I hope you find what there is.

From what I understand you are what is called a dry addict, which means that all that has changed is that you no longer use, however 99.9% of the time drug usage is just a result of something much bigger. that something bigger was causing you to use drugs and now you take the drugs away and you act out in other ways, as long as you dont deal with the deeper underlying problems you will act out like this beauces time wont heal it facing the issues and dealing with it will heal it, my suggestion is that you join a celebrate recovery 12 step program which is aimed at hurts, hang ups and habits. Its extremely effective with identifying and dealing with past and present issues. this is my take on it.. hope it helps,

(its not the time that determines the change but the change that determines the time)

Good luck!

You are completely right. I may have stopped using, but that still does not address the reason I started using in the first place...It should be expected that a large void would once again open up that I had been filling with drugs for so many years. I was hoping time would heal everything. It was so difficult to remain clean that I kind of stopped working once I accomplished that feat.
It is easy to say this now, with a bit more perspective.

The trouble right now is that I am in a foreign country, and so I do not have access to any sort of 12 step program. I have always avoided 12 step programs for whatever reason...I suppose I should do my research...the ones I always had access to, seemed to be very 'churchy' give yourself into God's hands...I am not so into that, but I do realize this is a generalization and they cannot all be this way.

Anyway, thank you for your advice, it helps to hear it from another person. Makes it more real.

Good luck, Plutarch.