I have so many questions, am I in the right place? I am an addict and will probably be fighting it 4 the rest of my life. I feel so alone, my family doesn't know and I feel ashamed. I'm trying to better myself but I just get depressed and cry all the time.

[Perna]

Hi, stilhopeful, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Yup, you're in the right place!

Sorry you feel so alone; have you investigated your community's (brick-and-mortar) resourses at all to see if there are any groups or therapists you think might help? Do you have a medical doctor you could ask for help from or someone like that?

Shame doesn't help much, know how you feel though. Have you thought of seeing a therapist for your depression? That might help you battle your addiction and other life problems.

[MandiePoo]

Hi there. I am SO GLAD you came here!

Feeling alone sucks. Guess what though - being a member here gets you a special membership to a very exclusive () you are Not Alone club! (teehee, just trying to make you smile). Really though, I am also an addict and lots of us here to support each other so you are NOT alone. You can come here to chat any old time you need to.

May I ask how old you are? Are you still living with parents? Or a minor? Or just feeling like you do not want to keep things from your general family. Just trying to get a better grasp of your situation.

[robert belcastro]

Originally Posted by stillhopeful

I have so many questions, am I in the right place? I am an addict and will probably be fighting it 4 the rest of my life. I feel so alone, my family doesn't know and I feel ashamed. I'm trying to better myself but I just get depressed and cry all the time.

Hello ! Alone is part of the territory when it comes to addiction, this is a great place also there is NA and AA to name a few. Just try and take it one day at a time.. Try not to project ! and maybe talk with your family, which is your decision. Talk with a friend, and try not to be too hard on yourself, and there is nothing wrong in crying. Remember One day at a Time.... wishing you happiness... Bobby

Originally Posted by MandiePoo

Hi there. I am SO GLAD you came here!

Feeling alone sucks. Guess what though - being a member here gets you a special membership to a very exclusive () you are Not Alone club! (teehee, just trying to make you smile). Really though, I am also an addict and lots of us here to support each other so you are NOT alone. You can come here to chat any old time you need to.

May I ask how old you are? Are you still living with parents? Or a minor? Or just feeling like you do not want to keep things from your general family. Just trying to get a better grasp of your situation.

This is my first reply so I don't kno if I'm doing it right. Hope u get it. Anyways, I want to thank u for ur msg. I'm 32 and married with an 11 year old. I come from a family of addicts, so right there they should understand, right? But no, they judge. I have no family besides my in-laws and they r Holiness and we r not. That's a whole other story. My family lives 4 states away so it's not like I can talk to them face to face. I confided in my sister that I was on Methadone and wanted to come off about 2 years ago and she told my dad. My dad practically disowned me. Didn't try to help me just stopped talking to me. I talk to him maybe 2x a year, his b-day then mine. Wow, I feel better already, I've never said these things to any1 b4. Accept my husband of course. Thanks for listening. If you do come across any1 with info or experience with Methadone please let me kno, I would appreciate it.

[J.O.M.]

I did a quick read on methadone withdrawal and it appears that the 'rule of thumb' is a maximum of 14 days for the physical withdrawal and that it should be done under medical supervision.

The mental/emotional stuff is the tough stuff. That goes on much longer and is a bit more difficult to deal with.

Both physical and mental issues have to be searched for and dealt with, chemical imbalances treated etc, emotional issues brought into the light and dealt with or at least looked at and a decision on whether to work through them now or later made.

Addiction is a whole person disease, there's no pill or magic bullet that cures it, like diabetes it's lifetime but it doesn't have to be looked at as terminal.

The when am I going to feel better syndrome is dependent on where you are in your recovery. Is the physical stuff over? If so what about seeking out the issues that may be affecting your state of health and mind? You are the one who gets to decide when you are going to start feeling better, once the things you can't control are over...you may not even notice you are beginning to feel better until long after it occurs.

A great many people wish they could be the person they were before they become addicted...one man told me he wouldn't want to be that person again and what he said made sense...he said this...

If I were to return to being who I was, the way I was, I would be returning to the person who was waiting for a DOC, waiting to become addicted. I don't want to be that person any more, I want to be the person I can become.

Seeking help, even online help is a great step toward becoming...remembering that you are in the process of becoming is another.

A caterpillar doesn't know what it will be, it only knows it must eat, it doesn't know if it will be a moth or a butterfly, it only knows it's cocoon...people on the other hand have fore site, they can choose to become, they can affect the time it takes to become, if they so choose...

Most choose to be butterflies, some few understand that nature still needs the moth.

[J.O.M.]

I almost forgot about P.A.W.S. which is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome...there are several sites which explain and give advice about this, it is not uncommon for there to be lingering effects after the Acute Withdrawal from drug use.

P.A.W.S. isn't pleasant but it can be lived with and through with grace and dignity.

Do yourself a favor and do a search for it and do some reading.

Thanks J.O.M, I really appreciate everything you said. It's been 34 days now and
I still have clammy hands, not so much chills anymore just every now n then, but they r deep in my legs, not on the surface. I keep being told that OH, IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD! I don't know maybe it is or maybe not. I read that sometimes it can take up to a month and a half to get over Methadone withdrawal. I have been doing it for sooo long, I can still feel it coming out of my skin and hair. To top it all off, I'm suffering from a allergies. Just 1 thing after another in my world. ugh! Still here tho