[Caretaker Leo]

I realize I need to start AA meetings for myself, but in many ways I think I also need to go back to Al-Anon meetings.

Which to do first? Or do I do both each week? I'm pretty certain I started drinking again 5 years ago in part as a response to trying to cope with my son's addictions. He has been living with my husband and me for most of that time and is currently living here. (Kicking him out right now is not an option).

I know I'm not helping my son because I'm drinking and he isn't helping me because he is struggling to stay sober but has slipped. While we "manage" to all live together, our way of life really is "unmanageable".

Any and all input is appreciated.

[splitimage]

I'd say AA was the priority and Al-Anon if you can fit it in. You're not going to be in a position to help your son if you're not helping yourself first. You know how in airplanes they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else. That's the way I see it. If you show that you're dealing with your problem, by attending AA and not drinking, then that might help your son to get back on track.

splitimage

[Leed]

PLEASE go to AA first. You have to help YOURSELF before you can help anyone else. And you can't do it while you're drinking.

Right now your first concern should be about yourself. You deserve a good life, and AA can help you get it back. Alcoholism is a disease, so treat it as if you had diabetes or something -- if you were sick, you'd go to the doctor. Well, think of AA as the doctor -- they'll help you get well, IF you're willing.

After you have some time under your belt, go to Al-Anon. But first take care of you. By watching YOU get sober, your son will have a better chance of staying sober.

God bless & let us know what happens. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

leo i agree-go to AA first. your own self needs fixing first. by leading by example it may encourage your son too.

because he is struggling to stay sober but has slipped.

sounds like you all could go to AA together and be a support system for the 2 of you. course i encourage you both to also go to sepate mtgs. too. i'm glad you realize you have a problem. unmanageability is a sure sign of alcoholism, imo. the whole family is affected in a negative way.
leo you deserve a better life than you have now. it can be done. the willingness to go to AA is the key to help you stay sober. glad u realize how many people have gained sobriety by attending. we can't do it by ourselves, imo. we care about you, leo. please keep us posted. free yourself from the bondage of alcoholism. you will never regret it. it steals our life, our souls, our relationships with others.

[DePressMe]

I agree with the other members that you need to take care of yourself first.

My brother got sober shortly after I did. He said, "if you can do it, I know I can do it too." The man I was dating at the time said the same thing. So there were 2 people I helped by just getting sober myself.

So, take care of yourself first and then you might be able to help your son.