scared to admit it.

scared to quit it.

i can admit - that i'm addicted
..to all types of self-distructive "habbits"

i can quit the habbits.

but, somehow - all i seem to do
..is replace one "bad habbit" with another.

i work hard, and hardly work.
..just trying to break the cycle of addiction.

-
victoria
-

[madisgram]

vickie welcome to this forum. may you find the support you seek here. may i ask? do you think you have a drug or alcohol problem or is it that your behavior is self defeating in other ways? i'm bipolar and have anxiety issues among other things, i discovered that when i stopped drinking my bipolar and axiety, etc. greatly improved.
when u feel comfortable let us know you better.

Originally Posted by madisgram

vickie welcome to this forum. may you find the support you seek here. may i ask? do you think you have a drug or alcohol problem or is it that your behavior is self defeating?

thank you madisgram.

yes, i suppose it dosn't hurt to ask.. for me it is both realy.
I use drugs & alcohol as an excape.
so i don't generaly like to admit that they could be considered an adiction.
..even though i do realize that they are not a solution.
but since i've been in NA, i have come to realize that i am wrong about that assumption, lol.
but other than that, i do think that my "behavior is self defeating," as you put it. i tend to have a pretty addictive personality. ((and it sucks to realize that my parents were right about that, lol.))

i hope you have a good day and thank you for sharing with me

[gma45]

Hi vickienc16, Welcome! You say you can quit the habits. My advice is do it while you still can, it may not be so easy if you wait. Take it or leave it just a thought. I wish you well.

breaking the fear...

breaking the cycle...

mending what the fear broke...

tending to what the cyle has broken.

it all begins again, happy to admit this.

addiction is never realy gone... its never really there.
it creates poem, and song... but never even cares.
addiction lives with deamons ...hides with fear.
it gets in the way ... i want to see clearer.
good bye addiction, good bye confusion, good bye fear
hello to salvation, hello there courage, hello my dear

I've lived mostly clean and sober for a long time. Life these days is very complicated with great hazards. Being in active addiction will make this worse. Pay your bills and take care of yourself and your family.

even without the fear...
-addictions still appear.

i'm falling again... back into some patterns.
-ones that lead me here in the first place.
i'm forgetting again... all of the reasons why.
-thinking too much and falling from grace.

(i just bit my toung realy hard, on accident.. ouch!!! i'm taking that as a sign to shut up)

[Edge11]

Hi vickienc16, Thanks for this post...Like you said, my best thinking got me here..At least today I recognize that i'm back sliding and can make the changes before it's to late...

Originally Posted by Edge11

Hi vickienc16, Thanks for this post...Like you said, my best thinking got me here..At least today I recognize that i'm back sliding and can make the changes before it's to late...

it's nice to know im not the only one

Vickien,

I've been in and around recovery for for 25 years. So many people feel soooo guilty about themselves, and it is unproductive, I believe.

Focus on your addiction which is causing you to be a danger to yourself and others.

Originally Posted by vickienc16

(i just bit my toung realy hard, on accident.. ouch!!! i'm taking that as a sign to shut up)

hope that really doesn't stop you....