Mom's neverending addiction

I'm not sure what to do anymore for her. I'm not sure if it's even worth the worry, intervention, and hope.

Last week my little sister who still with mom, called me telling me that she over heard a conversation mom was having with her friend, and she heard mom say that she almost OD'ed on crack last week.

I never thought her addiction was so bad.....I mean I knew it was to the point to where she was prostituing, and stealing, pawning...etc etc for it, but I didn't realize it was so bad till she couldn't go 48 hours with out it. It's never going to stop.

I talked to her this morning.....I was majorly pissed because she paid my sister 50 bucks to keep her mouth shut about using to me and her boyfriend. Well she told me anyway.

Well she claims she's ready to get sober and she's going into the mothers program. But I do not believe she will last. First of all it's outpatient, my mother needs to detox, and second, she's not willing to make sacrifices and become accepting of what she has done. She blames everybody else for her problems. She claims mommy and daddy didn't pay enough attention to her, but the truth is she was the only child and spoiled rotten.

I'm so sick of her compulsive lies and bs. I'm so tired of it. She really acts as though everybody owes her and she has done nothing wrong. She also weasels her way out of everything.

She wrote about 40 bad checks all over WV, and is not going to go to jail for it. I called CPS on her to hopefully get my sister out of there, and they called 6 months later saying they were closing her case, because they didn't see any plausible cause to take her out of the home.....They never even went there to see the home!

It's not fair that a junkie loser, *****, liar, criminal, and horrible mother gets life given to her on a silver platter, and a person like me....honest, hardworking, law abiding, and a good mother gets the %#@&#! end of the stick. It ain't right.

I guess God has something to do with that.

I don't know.....all I know is I'm burnt out from this. I'm ready for something, anything different. I'm willing to say my last goodbye's the the shell that used to be my mother, and never let her see me or my kids again....that would be the ultimate discipline for her.....but she'd use that as an excuse to go stand on the side of the street, sell herself, and get drugs. Then it would be my fault. I hate that stupid manipulative, lying *****. I want my real mother back, but she's probably gone at this point, she's been disappearing over the years.

Desirae

“It's not fair that a junkie loser, *****, liar, criminal, and horrible mother gets life given to her on a silver platter, and a person like me....honest, hardworking, law abiding, and a good mother gets the %#@&#! end of the stick.”

Somehow I don’t see that as being the case. Desirea.

I don’t know you, don’t know your story, but I will bet you money that you will go to sleep on clean sheets tonight. I also will bet you that your kids don’t hate you or are afraid of you. They may even love you. I will even assume your home is a harmonious place to live, and from which you draw a great deal of happiness.

Not so for your mother. Hon, you have every right to be pissed at her, you have the right to feel about her anyway you please. She has that coming and more. But you don’t really think her life is kind and gentle to her. A silver platter.

It is not.

She is paying for her addiction as we speak. She like myself or any other good soul here, we didn’t get it for free. There is a hell off a price attached to living life on cocaine’s or alcohol’s terms.

At your very next opportunity, take your kids in your arms and give them a big hug, a hug that comes from a true understanding of the gifts you have been given. Gifts your mother can not or will not avail herself of.

And I know God has something to do with that gratitude.

Richard

Well for the most part, your right, my life isn't the %#@&#! at the end of the stick. But what I mean by that is I have to work incredibly hard to get what I have. My mom has had everything given to her, and she still has it easy. Is death going to be what ends it?.....that's what scares me.

To be honest I really wanted my mom to go to jail, because that will save her life. But she weasled out of it. She weasled her way out of life. I'm afraid I will get that phone call soon....the one that tells me my mom's gone forever.

My life isn't cake, but I am blessed with perfect little babies, and ultimately I have what I need. And it's great not have to fear for my life as I lay in bed, fear my car will be vandalized when I park, and fear I will be killed by a John. I bet I do sleep better than she does.

Thank you for replying. I'm so open minded to anything...even if it would %#@&#! me off, because at this point I'm completely clueless on what to do now.

I really appreciate it Richard.
Desirae