[madisgram]

as i started working the steps-for one, step 4, i found it painful to look at my character defects. but i knew i needed to do it to stay sober. it was suggested i list character defects but also the character assets i possessed. if we just look at the negatives we can beat ourselves up and find the task overwhelming. so i drew a line down the middle of my paper. one side was titled "assets", the other "defects of character". of course i listed more defects at first but as time went on i added more assets too. no one is perfect. we practice "progress not perfection". but we can work to minimize our defects. such as anger. i used to get angry and lash out. i prided myself in this ability.(false pride and ego). what i did was to learn how to channel my reaction of anger by dealing with that feeling in a healthier way. this took practice but today for the most part i am able to calm my anger in a constructive way. that includes the feelings of other people and respecting them. here's a helpful tho not complete list of character defects.

The Most Common Character Flaws

The imperfections that people are most likely to struggle with include:

• Selfishness
• Jealousy
• Arrogance
• Judging others
• Callousness
• Cynicism
• Pride
• Dishonesty
• Argumentativeness
• Pessimism
• Conceit
• Laziness
• Stubbornness
• Taking things too seriously
• Defensiveness
• Overly critical

People will differ in the extent to which they have these character defects. For example, most individuals will experience a bit of jealousy from time to time. For most people this emotion may have an impact on their life and relationships. http://alcoholrehab.com/alcohol-reha...s-in-recovery/

I found my character defects had a common theme. I certainly found a lot of: pride, defensiveness (pride), jealousy (pride), dishonesty, selfishness and...pride. I also found a lot of approval seeking which also came down to pride...

I also skimped out on my asset list, I think I only have a few things on there, but every once and awhile I try to add to it.

At first the fourth step seemed extremely intimidating, but once I got into the swing of it, it was actually really interesting and I got more comfortable looking at myself. "Progress not perfection" indeed.

[Leed]

Oh boy -- character defects. I had quite a list, once I got started. At the top of the list was pride, selfishness, laziness, defensiveness, stubborness, cynicism -- oh gosh, I can't remember them all now. But I had a list a mile long. There weren't really very many things on the asset list as I remember.

I think when we're workiing on Step 4, we're sometimes so disgusted with ourselves that we go overboard in demeaning ourselves that we forget that we're not animals -- that we DO have positive things about ourselves that we CAN include on our list. But we're still so angry with ourselves for becoming such a pitiful drunk that we just don't see these things at first. It may perhaps take our sponsor to remind us that we're really good people who have a disease. That was the case with me.