[Leed]

Days of Healing, Days of Joy.................................................Nov 29th

"Me? I'm not angry about anything."..................................Karen F

The word anger doesn't begin to describe the absolute fury that festers in the hearts of adult children. There probably is no word, in fact, to capture the depth of what we feel. But that inner rage is a potent force in our lives, to say the least, because it is so deeply ingrained as to be invisible. Most of us wouldn't guess it was there if it weren't for the consequences.

Chronic, buried anger often causes dysfunctional behavior. On example is the hair-trigger, hothead reaction to almost anything-a flat tire, a cross word, a child's mistake. Petty slights are an outrage; minor inconveniences are intolerable. Extreme emotionlessness is another expression of repressed rage. Here we get the deadly silent treatment, the unwillingness or inability to respond. Then there are those of us who are simply scared to death of anger in any form and for any reason. Ours is the peace-at-any price, don't-rock-the boat reaction.

The question isn't whether or not we're angry. The question is whether or not we're dealing with it.
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Today, I will express the anger I feel to my Higher Power and another human being.

Anger. It seems all I ever lived with was anger. My birth home was always angry as my parents were continually fighting. We 4 girls were constantly afraid, and hid in our rooms when they fought and it was often. This went on all the years I was home. In my marital home, that was also a violent atmosphere as my husband had a hair-trigger temper, and mine was peace -at-all-costs. I hated confrontation and was terrified of anger. I actually don't handle it well today although my home is very calm compared to what I've lived before! I've also learned that many times anger turns into hurt -- If I'm angry I try to examine the reason I'm hurt and I usually find my answer there.

[madisgram]

wow! such a helpful post and a reminder too. thanks lee.

[0w6c379]

Thanks Leed for your post. I'd like to read more about anger and how to deal with it. I have experienced intense anger that has gotten worse the last few years. It builds and builds inside . . .

[Leed]

This is in request from another poster who wanted to read more about anger.

"The truth shall make you free."....................................John 8:32

Some of us have been so angry for so long that we don't even know we're angry anymore. Much like the effect of prolonged hunger - over time, the perception of hungriness changes to a more generalized perception of sickness. We tend to blot out what doesn't get acknowledged or resolved. Or we translate it into something else.

Because good children didn't act out anger (or so we thought) we learned very early to turn anger into hurt. And there it may well have stayed for many years, mislabeled and unrecognized. As recovering adults, we are becoming aware that a hard core of anger is under all those layers of hurt feelings. We see now that it has come out sideways for years, bruising the people we love and damaging our relationships.

Thank God we're finally able to name the problem. Naming it is the first step to doing something about it.
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I will strive to see the truth, no matter how disagreeable, and name it what it is.

[Leed]

Here's another post on anger

"Never throw mud. You may miss your mark. And you will certainly have dirty hands........................................................................Joseph Parker

Many are the ways to throw mud. We do just that when we fling resentment and hatred into our past, smear delusion and denial on our present, or hurl negativity and self-pity into our future.

Of course we have the right to do that if we want to. We can wallow in dirt until it becomes so normal that we don't know the difference. Usually, nobody knows when we're up to, and we ourselves are convinced that such behavior is only realistic.

But we're the ones who have to live with the dirty hands. Our mud may not bother the people we resent, they may not even be alive. The people we live with now have even less to do with it. If we look for mud, we will find it. And it will be ours alone.
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I refuse to damage myself b harboring negative thoughts and desires.

Aaaah resentments. I carried some for so long, they were just a part of me. And they were eating me alive. They were like a cancer, growing inside me. And like the reading says, the people I resented didn't even know I resented them. So what was the purpose?

There is a saying that I like: "Resentment is the poison I take to kill you." And that is so true!! Resentment IS a poison -- one that I refuse to take anymore. God bless

[allimsaying]

Thanks for this thread

Anger has cost me everything I love. Love is the way Im finding my way back.