[Leed]

"Worry never robs tomorrow of it's sorrow; it only saps today of it's strength........................................................................A.J. Cronin

Many in recovery are expert worriers. No topic is so small that we can't blow it up into something big. The merest hint of an ill wind can trip the hair-trigger mechanism that gets us going. It takes years to develop such a reflex. Originally, we may have legitimately worried that what we loved would be taken from us or never be given to us in the first p

lace.

But worry can become a way of life - we may not know how to live any other way. In the grips of this delusion, we might assume that if we don't worry about something, it will happen for sure. As if worry had the power to ward off tragedy! We might as well wear garlic around our necks to repel evil spirits.

As opposed to cautious realism, chronic worry is indiscriminate and irrational. We don't worry about disasters because they're so likely to happen - we worry because that's what we know how to do. Worry doesn't prevent the loss of anything except our own peace of mind.
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I recognize that habitual worry is a learned response from long ago. Today I choose serenity.

I don't remember NOT worrying. As far back as I can remember, I've worried. As a small child, I worried my parents wouldn't come home from the bar. I was about 3 or 4 yrs old, laying on my Mom's bed looking out the window waiting for cars to come up the street. I'd do this every-other night, as that was how often they went out. That continued til I was a teenager and didn't care anymore. I worried when they fought that my Dad would kill my Mom. I worried they didn't love me because they never said so and never were affectionate. I became a champion worrier!

Then I had my own kids -- and holy cow, any sniffle or cough set off the worry response! Any scratch or cut and Mom was off on another one. And you wouldn't believe when my son was diagnosed with leukemia!!! So I was "trained" well in worry.

While therapy helped, I'm afraid I still am a worrier. I'm better than before and the Serenity prayer does work wonders for me. I must remember I cannot control anything thru worry. Thanks for allowing me to share. Hugs, Lee

[spondiferous]

Thanks for sharing this, Leed, I can relate to so much of it. Worry is a huge part of my disease - has, as you mentioned, become the main part of it, and certainly exacerbates everything else I deal with. I have been making a habit out of doing something daily to get myself into a calm place, and hopefully sustain it for longer and longer periods of time. Anxiety sucks!

[midfifty]

You may need some help. Buspar helped me to get past the initial fears. I could take it form there.