[shortandcute]

I meant to title this "12 things to remember when..."
1. Mental illness is real.

2. Mental illness is not necessarily a result of "not working the program."

3. Needing medication is not the same as going back out, being a dry drunk, or subsituting one addiction for the other.

4. It's not our job to play God, or doctor.

5. Being of service does not mean trying to work someone else's program.

6. If someone had cancer or epilepsy, would you tell them they could be cured of it simply by working the steps?

7. Dealing with mental illness is not just a matter of "pulling yourself up by the boot straps."

8. If you're concerned about someone abusing their medication, find out all the facts before you accuse them of anything.

9. Telling someone to go against a doctor's orders can be very dangerous!!!!

10. While working the program is very beneficial and necessary, some people do need outside help.

11. Before you exhibit "tough love," ask yourself if the situation really warrants it, and ..........

12. ........make sure you understand what tough love really is!

[Travelinglady]

Thanks for the suggestions!

[spondiferous]

Seriously, they should have this up at every meeting. I love 12 step groups. I am a grateful member of two fellowships. But about three and a half - almost four now - years back, at three years sober, I had a devastating resurgence of mental illness symptoms that absolutely robbed me of life as I knew it. I ended up, after a couple of months of struggling, leaving the rooms entirely because I was tired of people telling me not to take meds, of telling me that things would get better if I prayed and meditated more, and that doing a new set of steps would help me. I did all of these things. NOTHING helped me.

I ended up having to find my own way through, which meant not only finding a way to get continued support for my recovery/sobriety, but also struggling through the seriously lacking mental health system here where I live. I'm mostly okay now. I know what to do to take care of myself. But there's been so much pain and loneliness in it all, and for a while some serious resentments. I felt like the fellowship that I'd given so much service to had abandoned me in my time of need. It took me years (really, until just two months ago) to even consider coming back to the rooms.

Thank you so much for this post. I wish I'd seen this four years ago but I'll take what I can get.

[Atypical_Disaster]

This is great, thanks for sharing! Luckily, I've stumbled into an AA group that's particularly understanding of mental illness.

[livingwithBPD]

Thanks for sharing! This is really helpful! I believe I am an alcoholic and was diagnosed with BPD about a year ago. Whenever I see helpful posts like this is makes me smile.