i have a serious issue with my best friend

sentient6 · 11:58 PM

my best friend started smoking weed about a year ago and it really affects her mental health, I've done everything and just can't make her stop. it's really crazy, i'm pretty sure she's going through an actual psychotic episode every time she's high. And it's starting to affect her even when she hasn't done anything. For example, she's way more anxious and quite a few times hysteric and i don't know what to do. I'm not sure I can deal with this. I'm struggling with severe depression and this really makes me want to kill myself. I NEED YOUR HELP, PLEASE!

Travelinglady · Jun 01, 2013 at 03:17 AM

Welcome! Dear one, alas, if your friend insists on smoking weed, then I don't think there's much you can do, unless she is underage and then she could be reported to her parents or other authorities.

I know some people think weed is harmless, but it can have bad effects.

I also know you won't want to do this, but since your friend's behavior is upsetting you so much, then I suggest you tell her point blank that you are seeing bad results from her smoking and you will just have to stay away from her as long as she persists.

Please, if you are serious about wanting to kill yourself, then call a helpline. It would be helpful, too, to talk to a therapist about it. You might need some meds to help get you out of this depression. Take care of yourself. Okay?

sentient6 · Jun 01, 2013 at 05:13 AM

We are both 17 but I wouldn't tell her parents about it, she would hate me forever. Also, I have made long talks about how much this affects her and she seemed well convinced and said she wouldn't do it again but then started again...
I'm actually on antidepressants since about 2 years now and I'm seeing a therapist but it's a very complicated situation and I don't really go there that often. But you see, depression is not my only problem; I'm also on psychotics and suffer from panic attacks so I'm extra worried about her because of my issues, which I sometimes see on her...

winter4me · Jun 01, 2013 at 08:10 AM

You can only control your own behavior.
And, it sounds as though you may need to tell your friend that you cannot be there when they are high. Period. If the friend wants to do something with you, or hang out, they must be straight.
You may not see your friend for a while, or often; but it is important for people to realize they can and will lose precious things and people in their lives if they are self-destructive.
Speaking of which-------talk to someone about how/why someone else doing something to hurt themselves triggers your own desire to self harm. That is significant.

sentient6 · Jun 01, 2013 at 09:04 AM

I talked to her again a while ago and she said she got really scared and wouldn't do it again, for real this time. I don't know if I believe it though. I just can't let her alone with other people because they will surely make fun of her and maybe abuse her. I know the kind of people who smoke weed in my town and they're not the best kind of people. As of why this makes me want to harm myself, there are two equally strong reasons; I had been harming myself for two years and am now trying to recover. Seeing self-destructive behavior, in any form, triggers me a lot. Also, I have constant suicidal thoughts that make me able to barely handle anything, so being in a situation like that makes me feel this indescribable feeling of wanting to die, like nothing matters, and you're useless, and there's only pain.

winter4me · Jun 02, 2013 at 06:56 AM

this sounds like an intense, but unhealthy relationship.

Jun 02, 2013 at 07:21 AM

The only person you can save is yourself.

Let your friend know that you love and care for them, but that you've got your own issues to deal with.

Then create a safe buffer between you and them.

It's sad that sometimes we have to let people go from our lives so that we may save our own, nevertheless it has to be done.

As you get healthier and stronger, you'll realize this is for the best, but damn it hurts bad when you have to do it.

The good news is, you'll meet and make new friends along the way.

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winter4me Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2012 Location: new england Posts: 7,733 11 1,818 hugs given	Jun 02, 2013 at 06:56 AM #6 this sounds like an intense, but unhealthy relationship.
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