[joker_girl]

When I was younger sometimes I used cocaine or meth to ease stress and mental pain.

I have not done that for a long time. I have basically been clean of this for about 4 years, with a slip about a year and a half ago. It was a one time isolated incident, I was upset about the death of a family member, and I got into the wrong situation.

Today we watched a movie, and they were snorting coke or meth, and just hearing them cut lines, that scraping, and then snorting it, it really got to me. I could feel myself getting way too involved in that, when the person was done and licked the side of the card, I remembered EXACTLY how it felt and tasted, and when they did lines I could feel exactly how it would feel, and the smell of it, and the bitter drip.

I've been under a lot of stress, and hurting, and I suppose it is a combination of stress, pain, frustration, and wanting to feel better.

No worries.....I have no connects anymore, and I don't really want to. I have no intention of doing that. But sometimes I will catch a whiff of that smell out of nowhere. I've thought about grinding up and snorting an aspirin or something, just to feel it, taste it, and for the pleasure of making lines. Sometimes I can smell the weird plastic smell of someone smoking dope, but I'm in the middle of the store or something.

I don't wanna go back to that misery, but I will bet tonight I will dream of it. Its happened many times, much less now of course.

Does anyone else HATE drug scenes in movies? When they are slamming, it doesn't bother me other than grossing me out a little......because I never used that way. But I can imagine how bad it would be to watch, if you had. I've learned not to watch Intervention, people smoking meth is very sketchy and triggerish.

[Leed]

I've never done that kind of drugs --- I was addicted to Xanax, but my MAIN problem was booze. I'm a recovering Alcoholic/addict.

When I first got sober, I remember watching the movie "Days of Wine and Roses" which is a very sad, tragic, and also hopeful movie! It's about a couple of alcoholics, where the husband recovers, but the wife doesn't. It was difficult for me to watch, since I was newly sober! And my HUSBAND didn't recover, but I did.

In years past, I've had MANY drunk dreams, where I'd wake up and I thought it really happened! I'd be sweating, crying, etc.! But actually I was grateful for those dreams because it kept me mindful of where I'd been, and how I NEVER wanted to go back there again -- it was totally miserable.

In a month, I'll have 20 years sober so seeing those movies, or watching someone drink or even smelling booze doesn't bother me anymore -- BUT I'll never take it for granted. I cannot assume that I'll NEVER drink again, because I don't know that. I've seen people with more sober time than me go back out for "further investigation."

So yes, in my earlier years, it DID bother me in movies, but not now. I wish you the very best, my friend. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[spondiferous]

Drinking and drug scenes in movies make me uncomfortable. I've been sober almost 7 years. No drugs or alcohol since then. But I don't enjoy being around it.