[FaithisAlive]

Hi all.I have lived with my BF for 7 years and I consider his sons to be my stepsons.He has one son, K who is 25 and has been on crystal meth for about 4 years that we know of for sure.

It has been a long and difficult 4 years. His girlfriend is on it worse than he is. They have 2 children they had to sign over to his mother because their drug use was that bad. She used it while she was pregnant with the first one and he has is own set of problems.

K recently got busted with meth and was already on probation for something else, so his probation officer helped him get into a rehab through the courts.He just got out 8 days ago and he is right back on the meth.

He had broken up with his girlfriend and once she found out he was cleaned up in rehab, she started writing to him and they have been together since he got out.

K's parents are kind and supportive and very caring. We all are. He has the largest support sytem he could ever hope for.My big problem at this point is that everyone it making it so easy for him to be a drug addict. They give him money,he has no worries.. he has a nice litte truck his daddy paid for when he almost had it repoed. He lives rentfree in a nice little house his grandparents own.

And when his dad finds out he is using again, K laughs the whole while his dad is giving him the old lecture about whats it going to take to make it stop. That makes me so angry when he does that!

It is heartwrenching to see what it is doing to my Bf... he is such a good decent man and he is hurting.I told him they really need to cut K off financialy but they feel sorry for him. Don't want him to have to do without anything.

What can be done at this point? does anyone know? what does is take to get a person off crytsal meth?We learned in drug rehab clases that it takes 2 years for the brain to even forget about meth. Part of me thinks K need to be sent to prison this time around.

He goes to court wed for the meth charge and I would like to think he has enough on him already ( his record) that he will be locked up.He seems to think its all a big joke right now. He hasn't been to the bottom like his girlfriend has.

I feel like as long as he is out free to do as he pleases, he wil keep on doing it and his family is going to keep right on helping him be a drug addict. Am I wrong in thinking its past time for tough love?

This is so stressful for me too. The children come over every weekend so K's mom can have a break because my BF feels obligated to help her out as much as we can.They are 3 yrs old and 19 months old.

These kids call me Nana and I love them as my own grandkids but sometimes I resent the fact that I must sacrifice my weekends because K is too selfish to be a parent.He is all about party, party ,party.

Any advice?

[January]

I highly suggest the entire family exercise "tough love" toward K. He will never get better while being enabled.

My best to you and yours,

Jan

[desirae]

Sorry you're going through this, addiction is apart of my life, from personal experiences, and through my family, Still to this day my mother is a crack cocaine addict. I'll admit, I have put up with my mom entirely to much, she's used me, abused me, and treated me like dirt, as though I owed her something. All it's over been for her is the drugs, nothing else. Well recently I have decided that I'm tired of her having this control over me, and I'm tired of her bringing the dope into my life. So now, although it hurts, I have cut her off completely, no more rides, no more paying her bills, and no more tolerating her b.s. It's a difficult strength, but eventually it has to getr to the point.....I think the junkie asks for it after so many times. Only theyt can help themselves...if they survive it first....think about what's most important to you and your family first.

god, meth is such a horrible drug.

my advice is the next time you know hes on it, call the police. The best thing for him may be to get arrested and then get clean (for more than 8 days)

it's hard for the family to not enable, but that is what they are doing. you're right. if you can convince his dad that every dollar he gives him, every truck and every house he has free just sends him deeper into the hellhole of meth. the family might as well be buying it for him.

meth is one of the very hardest drugs to get off of. give me a heroin addict any day and they can beat it.....meth is harder. if he is cut off, totally, he might turn around. and i agree with you about jail/prison time........except he has to be forced into a recovery program while incarcerated or he'll start up as soon as he gets out.

being forced to go to a 30 or shorter period re-hab hardly ever works. if a person has a choice between jail or re-hab, of course they will choose re-hab. i worked in a psych hospital and you could spot the judge ordered patients a mile away. they had no interest in getting clean...there was a light at the end of the tunnel and it was more drug use.

it has to be tough love and it has to be really tough. as a family, you all are already in a compromised position because he has children. we can pray that someday he'll be able to take care of them himself. xoxox pat

[FaithisAlive]

Thank you for your replies averyone! I have been so frustrated with this because I am somewhat of an outsider.. but my life is hugely affected by K's drug addiction.

I seem to be the only one who realizes tough love is needed here.. they are intent on showing him they love him by "helping" him as much as they can.

I end up feeling like I am being selfish because this seems to be always dominating out lives.. its all about K all the time. His older brother who does very well for himself and would make any parent proud is overlooked when he has accomplishments in his life.

My 16 year old son doesn't get the attention from his "step dad" ( as he refers to my bf) that he desires... because its all about K all the time.

I don't know what its going to take.. but it doesn't look like they are going to stop enabling him or his girlfriend.I think what scares me too is that K is bad to hang out with meth cookers too and that is so dangerous! I fear he wil one day endup dead.. either from an od or a meth lab accident..

or maybe he wil be hallucinating one day and kill someone or himself...once he did "see demons" trying to get into his house, and he had the shotgun to defend his family with. He hid his son behind the couch.How frightening to think what could have happened....

It is frightening now. and it is heartbreaking.. and it is frustrating.. and maddening all at the same time!

I just wish addicts could see how their habit hurts so mnay people..thanks again ya'll!