[HealingNSuffering]

The bar was looking mighty inviting last night, I wanted to drink some beer last night, been having a hard time this week. I'm a recovering addict, with an addictive personality. I can easily get hooked again, I feel as if a couple of beers might just kill me. I have a peptic ulcer and drinking doesn't help it at all. I guess if it wasn't for these gastrointestinal problems I would be an alcoholic still. I'm the worst kind of drunk, I'm the kind that starts fights and gets all emotional when he drinks. I still feel like I want to go, but I know 1 is too many and a 1000 is never enough. I don't want to do anything crazy, I'm recovering from so many mental health issues, I don't think alcohol is a good idea. But I'm so lonely out here, I have no friends in the area, from a social standpoint going to the bar makes sense, from a sobriety/recovery standpoint it is a horrible idea.

[waggiedog]

Stay strong ~ you do have the strength, you've posed your own questions and proved you already know the right answers ~ the safe answers which will keep you alive and not suffering physically. Sure, you are suffering greatly mentally, but it'd be so much worse to be suffering the physical pain that taking those drinks will def do. Believe me, having seen my husband suffer a burst ulcer caused by him being an alchoholic, you don't wanna go there. Stay strong my friend because you are better than ''it''. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX hugs.

[HealingNSuffering]

Thank you waggiedog for the encouragement and support. I know I have the strength to resist the temptation, the fact that it seemed like the bar was calling me last night just proves to me even more that I need to stay out of it and the liquor store. Last time I drank it was a small glass of wine and it made my stomach hurt so bad, plus it wasn't enough to get rid of my anxiety. I just only teasing myself, I started drinking at a very young age, I was an alcoholic before I even turned 21, after I turned 21 I realized I needed to change because I didn't want to be like my family who are all alcoholics and bad role models so I slowed myself down. Plus the rush of doing something illegal just wasn't there anymore.

I think the pain is what ultimately kept me away from going there, physical pain makes my mental health worse, when I'm in more pain I am more prone to suffering a panic attack. Its just so tempting because its legal and jobs don't care if you are an alcoholic but they all screen for drugs. I feel like I need an escape sometimes, maybe I should take up some creative activity again. Get lost in a drawing or read some kind of fantasy book, anything to keep myself out of my head.