3 years sober and needing to drink

Its almost 3 years since the last time i drank and am feeling like i need to again
I have OCD only got diagnosed with it last year
i have Obsessive thoughts like thinking am going to hurt or hit people i cant control them i need my husband to go everywhere with me because i dont trust myself at all being around people on my owm just in case i hurt them
I also have an eating disorder EDNOS i eat under a set a amount a day but my husband will not let me eat too low a calories and this is causing fights between me and my husband i also have DID ( MPD ) and some of the alters are pro ed
they fight with my husband about food all the time while some of the littles get upset that they cant have sweeties when they want some which is all the time we have came up with a plan that everyone agree to but some times the pro ed alters want to not eat at all and that causes fights between them and my husband
There are also alters who like drinking but we can never get drink because my husband keeps all the money from us
we just ask for the things we want from him when we have said something about drink he says no and there is a fight but no one ends up drinking

My husband keep all the money because we have OD'd in the past when we have had money
we just feel like we cant do anything
My husband is also our carer as well so he to look out for us all some times we think we make things harder because of the way we are
really wanting to drink but dont want to go back to the start again