[djewell9888]

I am not one to always admit a problem or a fault that I have.
i'm normally the one that knows in my mind but beats myself up in my head about it.
I went threw my adolescence/teen years smoking weed, was high all the time, got into trouble in the seventh grade for it My mother was a smoker and an occasional drinker, heck I even smoked with her. My father is a heavy drinker, growing up and went over there on weekends I learned to take care of hi drunk and fending for myself most of the time.
Then the drinking came into affect. I drank a lot. But nothing really out of the normal to me at the time. Met my childrens' father at 17 and he drank more then he smoked. therefore, I drank a lot more then my normal.
Throughout that five and a half relationship I had my share of physical and emotional abuse, the drinking then became a normal for me. I guess it just numbed everything I tried to hide or not want to come to terms with.
There were other factors that were played but those are things I am not willing to discuss at this time. Maybe on a later date....apologies
I didnt realize until the past few months that I had an issue. Until, I slowed down n my body started to rejects the alcohol and I went into an alcohol induced seizure and alcohol induced coma.
I knew I had a problem because I had lost alot of relationships, holidays, family and loved ones because of my drinking. They would say to me n my close ones that If Dominique wasnt drunk, she sure was working on it. Or she could drink 4 grown men that have been drinking for years under the table. Then I laughed it off n thought it was funny, now my body and mind thinks of it in disgust.
Recently, I went to my fathers on christmas eve and spent time with him, broke my sobriety for him, went later that day to spend time with my mother and her husband. She smelt the alcohol on me and threw me out of her house. That hurt more then anything. She only did it out of love and concern, I know.
I need to come to terms that one drink is too many for me. For my health and body but also for my close relationships. Therefore, I have started AA and the One Day at a Time program. This new year is going to be positive and healthy for me.
I am always in a rush to get things that are important done, but I have to slow down in my own mind because this is going to be a slow process and this this going to be one day at a time...

[Crazy Hitch]

Thank you for sharing your story with us djewell

You have set positive and realistic goals for the new year.

Wishing you all the success that you deserve.

[mountain human]

Hoping for the best for you! I struggled with alcoholism for years, now sober for years 1 day at a time.

[Altered Moment]

So happy to hear that. Lots of sayings you will learn. AA has kept me sober one day at a time for twenty years. So many years of collective wisdom in AA that have accumulated since it was started. Much of that wisdom is in the little sayings.

"One drink is too many and a thousand ain't enough." I think I am going to start a word document and keep all the little sayings in it. Always meant to do that.

Here is one of my favorites that I hate...lol
I am guilty of "Analysis Paralysis" so an old timer told me...
"It don't matter how the mule got in the ditch, just how we gonna get him out!!!"