[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> Our 15 yr old son has been smoking pot...... This is the same son that has anxiety problems along with anger and rages. He was on meds but then refused to take them, did some counseling but refused to talk.... Got into smoking pot, he says because of his constant back pain, which still has yet been determined why his back always hurts.... There has been more stress in the house than usual with my husband, to the point that a couple weeks ago I told him that the kids and I were going to leave him ...... We didn't leave, hubby working on changing his ways .... but anyway, back to our son....... He also has moderate/severe asthma and because of the pot smoking his asthma is at times out of control..... Grounding, talking, have not kept him from smoking it.... Keeping him away from those that we feel are the suppliers is not working, he seems to find a way to get it.....He has no money so I know he isnt paying for it..... Where do we start? His dr? Rehab?Tried to find a local hotline but wasnt successful...... Does the dr have to report it to someone? Will he be taken out of our home? All these fears! I fear he is heading done a dangerous path, I fear he might get something laced ! I fear his asthma will get so out of control he wont recover! Any suggestions on where to turn? We need to intervene now before it gets any worse....

Any and all suggestions welcomed! Thank you!
Melinda </font>

[Raynaadi]

((( Melinda ))))

This is definetly a difficult situation. With the background you've mentioned, I would also be concerned that he is trying more than pot. Anxiety, rage etc, sounds just like me before I started using alcohol to cope. Once we get a substance in us, we get "hooked" on feeling good. He doesn't care about his asthma because right now, the pot is his solution.

I have found some links for you that might help:

Vermont Narcotics Anonymous

Drug Rehab in Vermont

Alanon is for families of the addict, and you would find help there as well:
Vermont Alanon

I wish you luck with your son. I hope he's able to get things under control at a young age. I know many people who got sober in their early teens, so it is possible. He has to hit his own bottom to realize he has a problem. Sometimes interventions are a way to make that happen.

Intervention information

Hope some of this helps. Keep posting and keep us updated.

~Rayna

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> Thank you Raynaadi~ I am going to check out those links right away.... It is so hard to see your kids spiral out like this... He has overcome so much in his life already... I hope he gets back on the right track soon... I know some of it is he is trying to cope with what happened to his little sister back in sept. (she was molested by a 17 yr old that he goes to school with, well, did, my son transferred but they still ride same bus.....) My son was an honor student last yr , had some anger trouble and beginnings of anxiety, but this yr has plummetted way down fast and I begged the school to help and they blew us off, I tried with his dr which he was trying to help but when the kid wont engage and try its difficult...

Thank you again for those links! </font>

[Raynaadi]

I can't imagine what it would be like to be in the parent's shoes. I can however, help with insight into the addiction if you'd like. If you ever have any questions about his side, I'd be happy to share my experience with you. Seriously, I stay sober by sharing my experience and helping others, so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask away!! Here or PM is fine.

[undertheradar]

Hi,

What you need to understand is that IF your son is an addict, he has no choice once he puts the chemical into his body. He can't stop. My suggestion would be to send him to treatment. Not just any treatment center, but a good one. One of the best in the country is La Hacienda in Hunt, Texas. If anyone can straighten him out, they can. If they can't help him, they can refer you to someone who can. The disease of addiction is one of the mind, body and spirit. Once the mind starts obsessing on using and once the chemical enters the body, the addict can't make the decision to stop. Our problem, as addicts, is we have a malady that is spiritual in nature. I hope you find what you are looking for. Pick up a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it is stocked full of good information.

[Psyclox]

My brother smokes weed every day of his life and so do all my friends well most of them any way in my opinion they are still the same people they were b4 it, weed isn't harmful really yes there are sum short term memory loss but in the end it doesn't do any real damage, but in the end it is illegal and thats what counts, but also look at from his point of view meds are horrible and mayb for him weed is a much better drug than the presricption ones cause they are more dangerous than most illegal ones, drugs are bad all round there is no denying it, but weed is one of the least harmful there is in fact you even get madical weed which is given to cancer patients to ease the pain, but that is no means for your son to be smoking it, it just means that you should just try and understand WHY he is smoking it in the first place b4 you even try to send him to rehab or whatever.

[mollydaisy]

Hi,
I saw your post and wanted to tell you about a website that I found to be very helpful. You may have already found it through google and researching. It's called www.connectwithkids.com. They now have this parenting community. It's so great because its all about teens and teen issues. They also have wonderful videos and articles.
I hope this helps you.
Mollydaisy

[Perna]

I have asthma and would try to appeal to him with that route? It is really scary/uncomfortable to not be able to breathe, I'd ask him if that is what he wants and/or ask him what he would do to help him if he were his child. He might have a idea of what he'd "like"/needs and would go along with; doesn't sound like you can do much if he's not going to cooperate other than sending him away to school (I had a nephew that had to have that). Not accenting "wrong" or "bad" and trying instead to listen and use "reasonable" or logical arguments and make sure he understands you want him to feel better, not to run/ruin his life, etc. seem like the only things you might be able to use. If you can get across a little of how "helpless" you feel to help because he won't let you, show you need his help to help him, etc. that might get through to him too.

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> Thank you to all that have replied.... I really appreciated it, and it does help to gain insight from those that have been addicted to substances....I grew up with an alcoholic and can relate to that but I have not ever been addicted to anything, altho I fear have that naure.....

I have talked with him and he seems to be pretty open about the why's.....

helps with his physical pain
gives him a temporary escape from his emotional hell
gives him an escape from other stress
helps calm him (which was one of the signs that tipped me off because he is usually a very tense and strung out kid)

He really feels it sint that big of a deal and I know there maybe a debate in that....... but it is illegal and he has asthma so for him it has the potential of being deadly!

I think I will seek some kind of teen support group or alateen in my area; maybe he would be more likely to opened up with peers....

Thank you again everyone!
Melinda
</font>

re-hab will work if he knows he has a problem. otherwise, til he gets to that point........he's going to dig his heels in........i feel for you. been there, done that.........xoxoxo pat

[RACEKA]

I quit smoking pot after 30 years. I go to counseling and attend N/A meetings. My 16 yr old son is addicted to pot also. I had him arrested to get help from juvenile court and he is in a drug program with them. It still isn't helping. He's been to treatment. Treatment is only good while they are there. They still have to deal on the outside. They have to make new friends. Only God can change people. All you can do is pray for him. He has to be ready to quit before it will happen. The pain has to be greater than the pain of change. Be careful he doesn't start stealing from you. They will do what they have to do in order to get it.