[theres_always_hope]

So Im pretty much positive the majority of my current anxiety, panic attacks, dissosiation & ocd is due to my Adderall addiction. 4 years ago I got a perscription to help me get through school while working full time & literally before I could even begin to worry about the possibility of addition or side effects it was too late & I was & still am 4 years later 100% physically dependent on this drug. If I dont take it in the morning I am literally on bed rest & incapable of accomplishing anything at all-even showering!!! & I just binge on junk food in bed all day-its disgusting! But when I do take it I have to force myself to eat, constantly cotton mouthed, Im up till 3am every single night just reading & reading about my mental health disorders. Adderall used to make me feel peppy, motivated, productive, energetic, social, outgoing & really just overall "on top of the world." In order to achieve that same "high" now I have to take 3X my dosage (30mg) which is above the "safe" prescribed amount so of course I resort to buying my friend's extras for hella expensive. I literally can never sit still without feeling "useless & unproductive" I panic about time going by too fast every day because I lose track of time cleaning & organizing the tiniest details that don't even matter! Adderall has ruined my life! My boyfriend hates how I am on adderall. I overthink EVERYTHING, he can't even stand to go grocery shopping with me because I'm so cracked out that I feel the need to check every single shelf of every single aisle & buy a million things I don't need & just blow off the actual neccessities. I pick my cuticles til they bleed-it keeps me up all night! I have new phobias like closing my eyes in the shower, going anywhere alone, driving. My pupils are constantly dialated & my fingers are always twitching. I honestly feel like a full blown tweaker!!! I HATE adderall! I hate what it does to me! & yet I can't stop taking it every morning!!! I feel so hopeless. I never thought I'd be an "addict" just the word freaks me out. Im also in denial because I honestly believe that there's no way I could ever function without this drug. I have an extremely addictive personality & it has gotten the best of me. Not only am I miserable but Im terrified what it's doing to my body. I know what I have to do, I just can't do it.
-Hopeless

[Crazy Hitch]

(((theres_always_hope)))

You are not alone in this at all.

I found this interesting article in the Elle magazine, it is one author's experience with this:

The Truth About My Adderall Addiction

[disclaimer: I wouldn't recommend that part about flushing the remaing pills down the toilet ... but the rest of the strategies that she used sounded pretty interesting]

If you are possitive this drug is causing you so much stress, have you considered asking your doc to help you wean off of it?

[theres_always_hope]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

If you are possitive this drug is causing you so much stress, have you considered asking your doc to help you wean off of it?

Well that's the thing about addiction, even though I realize the harm I still want to take the drug it's sick and twisted. So to answer your question, no I have not...

[theres_always_hope]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

(((theres_always_hope)))

You are not alone in this at all.

I found this interesting article in the Elle magazine, it is one author's experience with this:

The Truth About My Adderall Addiction

[disclaimer: I wouldn't recommend that part about flushing the remaing pills down the toilet ... but the rest of the strategies that she used sounded pretty interesting]

It's funny cause I feel like I've already read every article there is on this subject & it turns out I have!! including this one!! Haha wow. Thanks for the link though

[hypermic]

Can I ask how you consume the Adderall, theres_always_hope?