[Keane]

Hi,
I have recently realised I'm addicted to love, and yet I am aromantic (+ asexual). So I've never actually liked anyone.

To explain my situation a bit, I've been having "fake crushes" on strangers since I was about 10-11. I used to think they were real and that it was normal. I obsess over them and even stalk them on the internet. I can have multiple ones at once. But they eventually fade out (though I've had some that have lasted up to 3 years).

I also tend to believe that strangers like me (like up to 25 strangers a day!!!) (like really, I believe it, even though I have some sens of rationality). It makes me quite paranoid. (And if I see them again, then starts a new obsession).
I need to look perfect at all time in case I meet "the one" and that makes me very obsessed over my looks and feel anxious and depressed too. I think about meeting someone/someone liking me EVERY SINGLE TIME I go out.

But I have never wanted to go out with anyone that actually liked me for real. It usually stresses me out a lot.

If I were to commit to someone, I'm sure it wouldn't last. I know that because when I watch romance films or series (which I am addicted to as it gives me the same feelings), I'm only interested/addicted to the build up of the relationship, and then I get totally uninterested.

So I crave being obsessed, I need it. It fills some emptiness inside of me. But I hate it so much.
But unlike other addictions, I cannot controle it one bit; with any kind of substance, you can technically stop using them. But those beliefs I have (like that strangers are into me) and those "crushes" come onto me uncontrolably.

I do not know how I can stop having love addiction, so I hope some of you can help.
I've done a lot of research but haven't actually found an answer.

Also, I am def not erotomanic, nor narcissitic or something.

Thanks in advance for your help. Please share your story if it is linked in some way

[healingme4me]

My impression of love addiction is that it's another name for sexual addictions that play out in ways that bring dysfunction to a persons life.

Has your doctor tested you for obsessive compulsive disorder or anything else?