[hsalmon21]

My best friend lost her mom this past January. She was sort of the strings that held together her already troubled family. So after her passing, my best friend's dad spiraled deeper into his alcoholism and we think her brother is gambling or dealing, he is clearly unstable - I could get into the details but he keeps much of his life very secretive and suspicious.

She's keeping herself together - or distracted - by working four part time jobs along with full time school. She's not okay and I've been pushing her to see a therapist but she makes excuses not to. My argument is that she may not need it herself, but the therapist will give her tools to help her family members.

How can I help her? How can I help her help them? This family has been my second home since I was a child. It completely breaks me seeing everything unfold like this and I don't know how to help.

[avlady]

She should see a t and doctor. sometimes we have to test the waters before we find the right ones but they are out out there. i know i've lived too long and finally found the right one who loves and adors me. just to let you know she told me she wasn't the enemy, which was what i was acting out against always.

[Skeezyks]

Hello hsalmon21: The only thing you can really do here is to be available to provide whatever support your friend seeks. Be available to talk. Perhaps try to do some fun things together as the opportunity arises. You've encouraged her to see a therapist. Apparently this is not something she is ready to do, at least at this time. Perhaps she may come around to it at some point in the future. But it's her decision. In the meantime, what is important here is for you to take care of yourself. No good will result if you allow this family's sadness & dysfunction to swamp you as well. I wish you well.