How to stay clean from oxycodone when it's always in the house?

Please please don't judge Dx I'll try to sum it up. I'm 24/female. My mom passed away from brain cancer when I was 20. My dad got sick right after with a heart attack. Got a second one shortly after that was so severe that he was hospitalized for a year. I had no help from family at the time. He came back home and needs constant monitoring. He was prescribed oxycodone and that's where my addiction started. The stress/depression drove me to slowly sneaking a couple to taking large amounts. I know this is extremely wrong.

My dad actually knows I take them, but always thinks it's because I'm in strong physical pain from my other job. I'm actually really surprised he's never told me anything about it. He doesn't seem to care.

Anyways, I'm trying my best to stop. I'm starting to see the bad side effects of it. I'm so swollen/bloated and my lower stomach is constantly in pain. I've tried depression/anxiety meds and nothing ever worked like oxys have. It gives me energy and makes me feel normal/happy. I know this is not the answer though. How do I quit/stay off when it's always accessible to me. Even if my dad hid them, I know I would break one day and find them. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself. I take about 5-6 pills a day (5mg) but I've gone all the way up to about 15 a day in the past.

Not possible

The best thing for me was to sabotage any way I could get drugs

Which , for me meant moving to a new city where I knew no one, and joining a drug rehab iop program

This was my first real attempt at getting clean

The thing that always broke me when I tried to quite the pills was the depression. The aching was pretty bad but my god that feeling... I totally get where your coming from. For me, I didn't get stoned and nod off all day. When I had my pills, I always got everything done. I had the motivation to do it all. Without them I didn't even want to get out of bed. Unfortunately, I agree with junkDNA...its incredibly hard to get off them even when you don't have constant access to them.
Maybe talk to your dad. Set something up with a pharmacy where he only gets small amounts...join a drug rehab.
To be honest with you, I couldn't do it. I'm on methadone and although it keeps me away from that life, it is just trading in one crutch for another.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are dealing with some pretty heavy stress, and it sounds like your alone. Maybe that's why your dad hasn't said anything, maybe he feels bad about what you've had to deal with alone. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Hang in there.

The depression and anxiety are bad. I think it's called P.A.W.S.

But, it does fade away. That's what I kept telling myself. It will pass

how long has it been?