[needsomeadvice$]

Hi my husband and I are very worried about our 34 year old son – we know he has been smoking marijuana for some years now – we totally hate that he does this – and we know he has in the past tried to grow some – but turned out a very costly exercise power wise – we have spoken to him many times regarding this but obviously he has not listened – about 2 years ago he went through a horrible relationship breakup and he took it very hard – he also has a now 4 year old son – just over a year ago he had a massive aggressive attack – and at the time I was there to care for his son as he was going to work – his outburst was very scary for me – and at time we thought it was part of depression – then few months later his face broke out in all these sores – so we thought was maybe part of depression and stress trying to cope with paying his mortgage and bills – it took quite a few months to clear up – then about 2 months it came back – and it’s been repeating itself on and off for just over a year – we have looked in his draws having a suspicion of using other drugs and had found a glass pipe and small plastic bags – his ex-had said to me one day just watch him as his face is of a crack user – I was really not going to believe this and we put it aside – but now we see his aggression is getting worse if he comes to our home for a meal once he has eaten he can barely keep his eyes open – and this worries up greatly – when he gets home from work if he sits he will fall asleep and you cannot wake him for hours, his face is starting to look very drawn – I suppose we shouldn’t google things as sometimes you can read too much into things. We get at times feel we have to be on tender egg shells as we don’t know when he will crack up – and when we do start to talk about things he will say I have to go got stuff to do – I suppose really we don’t know how to approach this matter as we are scared of the reaction – and he will shut down talking – but we are really worried – my husband and I have spoken on this matter but we are at a lost end as to know what and how to say something

[Perna]

Hi, needsomeadvice. I would certainly tell your son your suspicions (and why you suspect, let him know he's not "fooling" anyone) and decide with your husband what the two of you are going to "do" about it. Talking about it with him will do nothing, as you have seen, so I would decide your own actions, since only he can work with his:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-adult-addicts

[RubyRae]

If he's nodding off it sure doesn't sound like crack to me,it sounds more like some type of opiate,maybe even heroin.But the face sores,maybe crack or meth?

If he's 34,there's not really much you can do to help or stop him,all you can do is speak to him,tell him of your suspicons and set boundaries with him,like not being high at your house,no using in your house,etc.

Sorry you are going through this.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, needsomeadvice$, and welcome to Psych Central! I've seen all these intervention shows on TV. I assume there are no other family members or none who are willing to make a united front?

From those shows I see you need to approach him out of concern as in "we love you and are concerned about you" rather than anger.