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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: 3rd rock from Sun
Posts: 2,717
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Oct 14, 2018 at 02:03 PM
#341
We're all rooting for you child. You made it far enough that we know you have the resolve. Starting over is hard; I have done it a few times. That rationalization that it won't make much difference if I start today or start in a few days was hard to get past, but not starting today is not starting; every day will eventually be a today.
__________________ | |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
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 childofchaos831
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: planet earth
Posts: 2,986
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Oct 14, 2018 at 02:29 PM
#342
I believe boredom is what got me drinking I always had something to be with me when I was bored or alone. I think near the time before I quit I was always so alone because I isolated myself and found myself doubling up on how much I consumed. And giving myself permission to drink when I didn’t want to feel anything was the worst ever conclusion I had. Now that I work through my emotions little by little as they come along and they do come along. I have realized that maybe there is no real sobriety maybe it’s just something I am doing for now and maybe later I may decide something else. Whatever maybe the case I will enjoy whatever it is now that I am doing.
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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Oct 14, 2018 at 02:43 PM
#343
Tomorrow will be day 1. Been drinking today. Planning to start the day with a meeting with a friend. A 7:30am meeting then dropping her at yoga probably and headed to PHP for me. The week should be easier having PHP but with the drinking, the su thoughts have gotten strong today... I missed a commitment I had because I couldn't drive to get to it. And it was AA related, so not gonna go drunk...
__________________  Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
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Oct 17, 2018 at 03:10 PM
#344
It's day 16 for me and I don't want to go backwards into addiction. I'm staying busy but I'm in pain which doesn't help... I'm just sucking it up and doing life, so to speak. Well it's off to study land.
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 xiximmxi
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Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: Asteroid B-612
Posts: 150
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Oct 18, 2018 at 11:11 AM
#345
Quote:
Just a few more days and it should get easier for you. Baby steps 
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Moderator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,327
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Oct 19, 2018 at 07:24 AM
#346
Relapsed pretty badly on Thurs, and got really sick. Took extra clonazepam yesterday to knock myslef out and sleep and also to mitigate the risk of a seizure. So today, I'm really groggy and shaky, so it's going to be another recovery day.
Really hope I can make this the last time. I just feel like such a failure. splitimage __________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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Wise Elder
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9,645
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Oct 19, 2018 at 09:04 AM
#347
Sorry about the relapse. When I wrote before that you might try something different, I wasn't refering specifically to AA. Your relapses have become more & more frequent...I fear you're killing yourself slowly. Is there inpatient treatment available in Ontario that you can get access to? Other options? It seems whatever you're doing isn't working. If you're on meds, the alcohol will just hasten the destruction of your liver. I don't post much anymore, but I wish you & everyone on this forum good health - both mentally & physically.
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,327
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Oct 22, 2018 at 10:33 AM
#348
Well, I finally did it. I restarted my Antabuse today. And I've put it with my other psych meds, so that I'll see it and just make it part of my routine to take. Being on Antabuse, is the only thing that's ever helped me stay sober long term.
I'm hoping it will help me to build up some sober time again, so that I can get to work on fixing my life. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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Oct 22, 2018 at 11:13 AM
#349
.
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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| emgreen
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Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,327
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Oct 22, 2018 at 03:00 PM
#350
Congratulations on making a week, Childofchaos. That's my goal at the moment.
splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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childofchaos831
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: 3rd rock from Sun
Posts: 2,717
6 493 hugs
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Oct 23, 2018 at 08:44 AM
#351
Starting over on recovering right away instead of reverting to old behaviors is a big deal; it shows that you are still committed to the cause. Keep on keepin' on.
I am at 485; about to start the countdown to 500... __________________ | |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
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childofchaos831
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,885
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Oct 23, 2018 at 10:38 PM
#352
congratulations updown!!!!That is quite a feat!
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,327
18 75 hugs
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Oct 24, 2018 at 04:55 AM
#353
I miswrote when I last drank - it was last Wed., not Thurs. When I posted I was still really fuzzy from the hangover and extra clonazepam I'd taken to offset seizure risk.
So today is my 7'th day sober. Not a huge milestone, but I'm still happy. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| Bill3, bizi, emgreen
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Bill3, bizi, childofchaos831, emgreen
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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Oct 24, 2018 at 04:58 AM
#354
Yay splitimage!
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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| Bill3, bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,885
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Oct 24, 2018 at 10:17 AM
#355
7 days is awesome!
keep up the hard work you are doing.... You are worthy of this effort. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: planet earth
Posts: 2,986
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Oct 25, 2018 at 08:30 PM
#356
1201 days sober from alcohol
__________________ Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,057
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Oct 25, 2018 at 08:37 PM
#357
7 days is a huge milestone. Everyday that you are drug and alcohol free is a huge milestone.
__________________ Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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Oct 25, 2018 at 08:38 PM
#358
Glad you all are able to stay sober. Alcohol is the worst thing you can do for depression.
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: 3rd rock from Sun
Posts: 2,717
6 493 hugs
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Oct 25, 2018 at 09:29 PM
#359
Quote:
__________________ | |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: planet earth
Posts: 2,986
11 401 hugs
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Oct 25, 2018 at 11:11 PM
#360
Quote:
I am pretty sure my depression started during drinking. Since it’s a natural depressant. __________________ Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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