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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
14 101 hugs
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Nov 21, 2019 at 11:49 AM
#921
Day 2..... Grumble. I keep slipping because of circumstances. And then I get sad and use once again. It's a terrible cycle.
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 bizi, mote.of.soul
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 bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,014
18 45.8k hugs
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Nov 21, 2019 at 11:55 AM
#922
Rome was not built in a day.
(((((HUGS))))) bizi __________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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mote.of.soul
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Wood Ape
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,576
(SuperPoster!)
6 22.3k hugs
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Nov 22, 2019 at 02:10 AM
#923
Yes, back to square one for me, as well. Too much anxiety to deal with so drank for 2 days. I'll just keep pluggin' away though, and doing my best. Climb back on the horse again. Get back on the wagon again.
All the best to everyone. Just one day at a time. |
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| bizi
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bizi
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Moderator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,513
18 79 hugs
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Nov 22, 2019 at 05:50 AM
#924
It really is just one day at a time. I've had so many relapses since I started my sober journey 13 years ago, that there's no way I could even count them. The only thing that seems to consistently work for me is taking Antabuse, all of my long sober periods I've been on it.
Just something to think about. splitimage __________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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| bizi, mote.of.soul
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bizi, mote.of.soul
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,014
18 45.8k hugs
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Nov 22, 2019 at 07:24 AM
#925
hey split!
glad that the antibuse keeps working for you! I have thought about it. right now I am able to be alcohol free for 32 days. I think my meds are better. I have bipolar disorder 1. OCD and excoriation disorder, a mild case. Have an addictive personality: alcohol, food, internet, picking. Have a great day! bizi __________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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mote.of.soul
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,709
10 2,917 hugs
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Nov 22, 2019 at 09:20 PM
#926
I need to realize that beating myself up over slipping up isn't going to help. I need to focus on positive replacement behaviors that help me socialize and have fun without using substances or pornography.
That's my check-in for the day. |
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Wood Ape
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,576
(SuperPoster!)
6 22.3k hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 02:37 AM
#927
Day 3 of sobriety for me. My positivity is returning and I'm glad the sense of hopelessness is evaporating, as well. That's one of the worst parts.
Looking forward to returning to AA, utilizing meetings, and just making a fresh start. Sobriety being foremost in terms of any other progress I might make within this life I've been granted. I'm going to begrudgingly let my doctor refer me to counseling as well. I say 'begrudgingly' because I've had plenty of counseling over the years. Yet, in saying that, I need to do something further, to deal with my ongoing mental health problems. Best I not think about it too much and just do it. Thank you. |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,513
18 79 hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 07:32 AM
#928
@mote.of.soul
Congratulations on getting to day 3. I find the first couple of days are always the hardest. And I'm glad the hopelessness is vanishing. Good for you for trying counselling again. I know it can sometimes feel like, more of the same, but I've found I've learned something new from every counsellor I've had. Would it be possible for you to see someone who is experienced in addictions? That might be helpful for you. I know it was for me. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Wood Ape
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,576
(SuperPoster!)
6 22.3k hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 08:24 AM
#929
Thanks @splitimage, it's a good idea and I should look into it. After all, the problem of addiction is obviously a lifelong thing. I just really need my mental health to improve, so talking to a counselor in depth - about anything, really - may help, yes.
Thanks for your encouragement and for relating as well. It's good to know there are people who can identify here at PC. |
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 08:50 AM
#930
I have 13 days... I was in the hospital until yesterday. Now it's up to me.
__________________  Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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| Bill3, mote.of.soul
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,945
15 24.1k hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 11:19 AM
#931
Good job childofchaos831!
Keep on hanging in there! 
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childofchaos831
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
5 40.2k hugs
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Nov 24, 2019 at 12:39 PM
#932
I have 11 years clean and this morning I was thinking about drinking a martini, which I used to like. Maybe several. I am just at a place where I am so sick of this bipolar thing that I really don't want to do this anymore. I am worn out. It's too exhausting. It's too hard. I am not going to act on these thoughts, but I am where I am. Not happy today.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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| Bill3, bizi, Desoxyn, mote.of.soul
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,513
18 79 hugs
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Nov 25, 2019 at 08:57 AM
#933
childofchaos, you can do this. You've had long sober/clean periods before so you know how to do it, even if it feels really hard. I'm glad you're out of the hospital - I always hate being IP. I hope you're able to enjoy the holidays without too much drama.
bpcyclist, isn't it weird how cravings can come out of nowhere, even after a long time sober. Good for you for thinking it through, and posting about it here. I get being fed up with mental illness too, sometimes I just want to say F-it and go off my meds, which would be spectacularly stupid and dangerous. I'm going down to my clubhouse today to hang out and volunteer. I'll have dinner there, and then go to the Double Recovery meeting. I'm really looking forward to that since it's a while I've been to one. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,014
18 45.8k hugs
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Nov 25, 2019 at 09:12 AM
#934
hugs to those that need them
(((((HUGS)))))) bizi __________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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mote.of.soul
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
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Nov 25, 2019 at 09:15 AM
#935
Quote:
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,709
10 2,917 hugs
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Dec 01, 2019 at 02:19 PM
#936
Managed to string together 8 days without a drink... That's good, right? I think so...
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: planet earth
Posts: 2,986
11 401 hugs
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Dec 01, 2019 at 04:01 PM
#937
1,603 days clean and sober from alcohol
__________________ Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,028
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
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Dec 01, 2019 at 08:48 PM
#938
Rare low dose benzo
Rare extra Vyvanse Occasional low dose weed Low dose phenibut Nicotine spray Occasional alcoholic drink or two when social 5-10 year break from psychedelics |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,028
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
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Dec 01, 2019 at 11:44 PM
#939
I'm craving something.. Like a cigarette.. (I quit 4 months ago) or cocaine...
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| bizi, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
5 40.2k hugs
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Dec 02, 2019 at 07:12 AM
#940
Feeling very tired and physically hurting this morning.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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| Bill3, bizi
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bizi
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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