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  #701  
Old May 16, 2019, 01:00 AM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
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I was thinking of ordering zopiclone, baclofen, pregabalin and tianeptine but I stopped myself..

I suppose using kratom gives me excuses to buy more chemicals.

So I have to be completely sober to stick with it. But being on Vyvanse makes it hard because then I see the fact that I can use nootropic drugs to enhance my cognition.

I notice with the Kratom that I seem more content, relaxed, calm and meditative. I don't notice any opioid effects but then again, I never noticed the opioid/opiate euphoria of codeine, oxycodone, hydromorphone or heroin.

It takes away my cognitive fatigue that plagues me from being on antipsychotics I think. That's why I want to lower my dose of Invega.

So I'm going to tell my psychiatrist this..

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  #702  
Old May 16, 2019, 07:15 AM
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Good luck talking with your psychiatrist. I hope that they are receptive and listen to you.

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  #703  
Old May 16, 2019, 07:21 AM
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Zopiclone is a sleep medicine that tastes like metal, baclofen is a muscle relaxer that doesn’t get you high, pregablin I suppose is neuroleptic pain releaser, I don’t know about what the last one does.
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  #704  
Old May 16, 2019, 10:57 AM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Back to day 1.... I hate resetting the clock on clean time. But I am making plans to change
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  #705  
Old May 16, 2019, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greentires4me View Post
Zopiclone is a sleep medicine that tastes like metal, baclofen is a muscle relaxer that doesnÂ’t get you high, pregablin I suppose is neuroleptic pain releaser, I donÂ’t know about what the last one does.
They would make me happy =[

No jk..
  #706  
Old May 17, 2019, 06:12 AM
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Whoo Hoo,

7 months today. Feeling happy.

splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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  #707  
Old May 17, 2019, 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
Whoo Hoo,

7 months today. Feeling happy.

splitimage
You people are good inspiration. I'm gonna throw out the kratom cuz it gives me bad headaches, gives sleep paralysis and hypno hallucinations.

Tomorrow will be day 1 of being sober. No alcohol either. Maybe a drink whenever there is company? Because I don't have a problem with alcohol. Can I still count sober days? As long as I don't get drunk I guess..

I just want to count days =] I want to get to 6 months at least. That's my goal..
  #708  
Old May 17, 2019, 11:22 PM
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I'll overdose on music tho..
  #709  
Old May 18, 2019, 10:02 AM
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Desoxyn,

There's no such thing as OD'ing on music. If there were I'd be dead a long time ago - I constantly have music on, it helps keep me sane and get through cravings.

If you want to count, then count. Maybe to get around the fact that you still want to drink occassionally and don't think you have a problem with it, you could just say something like X days free from hard drugs. 6 months is a really good goal, but I find it easier to start with by counting smaller and quicker sober goals, like 21 days, then a whole month whatever helps you feel good about it.

splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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  #710  
Old May 18, 2019, 06:54 PM
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Makes sense.. Although I popped an extra vyvanse so I don't get tired when I drink corona..

Idk.. I just want to have fun and motivation.. I'm so tired all the time. I'm not taking the kratom anymore but i think the lingering effects are still making me tired..

It's miserable and rainy outside. I'm miserable and rainy inside.
  #711  
Old May 19, 2019, 05:43 PM
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Desoxyn

I'm sorry you were feeling so down yesterday. I hope that today has been better for you.

I suspect a lot of what you're feeling is the kratom withdrawal.

Good luck with everything.
splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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  #712  
Old May 19, 2019, 06:11 PM
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And on another note. Police were involved, but I got my problem room mate evicted. And I didn't drink, even though I really wanted to. I had a chocolate bar instead.
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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  #713  
Old May 19, 2019, 06:56 PM
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childofchaos831 childofchaos831 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
And on another note. Police were involved, but I got my problem room mate evicted. And I didn't drink, even though I really wanted to. I had a chocolate bar instead.
Chocolate fixes everything
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  #714  
Old May 20, 2019, 07:15 PM
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I took 6g kratom yesterday and just slept the whole day and then the whole night. Unmotivated. The kratom could be making me depressed.

I forgot I still had weed gummies so I took one 5mg 15 minutes ago. If I get anxious from it, I'll take a benzo..

I just want to lose my mind. Escape reality. Be destructive. Be filled with life.

Not depression.
  #715  
Old May 20, 2019, 09:36 PM
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I don't know what I want so I am doing a clean out of my closet, so to speak.
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  #716  
Old May 21, 2019, 08:14 AM
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@Desoxyn to combat a high from THC one uses CBD right after the THC will reduce and less likely you become anxious. It’s a trick I learned from this guy whose and avid medical marijuana patient.
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  #717  
Old May 22, 2019, 05:44 PM
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Had a good appointment with my addictions Dr. today & filled her in on my room mate & health stuff, and I told her how relieved I was to be on the Antabuse, so I didn't drink through any of it. She agreed with me, that if I had been drinking the situations might be much worse.

I asked her if I could rejoin the aftercare group which meets Tuesday mornings, and she was happy with it. That will be good as it's a structured activity that gets me out of my head and out of my apartment, and ensures that I interact with people, instead of my default isolating.
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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  #718  
Old May 23, 2019, 08:01 PM
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split this sounds like a good plan.
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





  #719  
Old May 25, 2019, 08:46 PM
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how is it going?
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





  #720  
Old May 26, 2019, 08:54 AM
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Day 700!
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|
|
Up and down
|And in the end it's only round and round
|
Pink Floyd - Us and Them
|
|bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD
|lamictal, straterra
|
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  #721  
Old May 26, 2019, 03:39 PM
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greentires4me greentires4me is offline
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I keep getting bad news my doctor thinks I might have MS. That would explain the falls I have been having over the last several months though.

Today is weird it’s 1414days sober.
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  #722  
Old May 26, 2019, 06:57 PM
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split, congratulations on you sobriety!!!!
__________________
lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





  #723  
Old May 27, 2019, 07:37 AM
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splitimage splitimage is offline
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Greentires, I'm so sorry about the possible MS diagnosis. I'd find that very scary. When will you have followup to find out for sure?

And congratulations on the interesting numeric milestone.

splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Daily Check In #3
  #724  
Old May 27, 2019, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
Greentires, I'm so sorry about the possible MS diagnosis. I'd find that very scary. When will you have followup to find out for sure?

And congratulations on the interesting numeric milestone.

splitimage


Well he’s referring me to a different doctor whom ever it may be. Hopefully soon the sooner the better.

I applied for a position working as a breakfast cook at my building. Hopefully I can pull it off.

Yes 1414 days is quite cool on my books.
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  #725  
Old May 31, 2019, 07:07 PM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
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Doing well.. Still alive..

Regretted flushing my psychedelics so I bought more. Psilacetin, metocin and the God molecule (Toad venom).. Snorted 10mg psilacetin which is 1g shroom.. Had a little trip no biggy.. At least it's not methcokecrackheroin.. Took a xanax to stop the trip early.. But I'm not taking xanax all the time. I flushed 140 of them so I'd run out early..

Took 5mg THC today and it didn't get me high for some reason.. No weird borderline psychosis thoughts..

Drank 3 hard iced teas last night and then 3 this morning. I feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin and tired. Went to drink coffee with people today.

Other than that I'm doing good..

I have a pill box where I organize my pills for the day.. Still taking the Vyvanse as prescribed which I'm surprised about..

It's cuz I need it to function and won't abuse it...
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