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#701
May 16, 2019, 01:00 AM
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I was thinking of ordering zopiclone, baclofen, pregabalin and tianeptine but I stopped myself..
I suppose using kratom gives me excuses to buy more chemicals. So I have to be completely sober to stick with it. But being on Vyvanse makes it hard because then I see the fact that I can use nootropic drugs to enhance my cognition. I notice with the Kratom that I seem more content, relaxed, calm and meditative. I don't notice any opioid effects but then again, I never noticed the opioid/opiate euphoria of codeine, oxycodone, hydromorphone or heroin. It takes away my cognitive fatigue that plagues me from being on antipsychotics I think. That's why I want to lower my dose of Invega. So I'm going to tell my psychiatrist this.. |
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#702
May 16, 2019, 07:15 AM
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Good luck talking with your psychiatrist. I hope that they are receptive and listen to you.
splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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 Desoxyn
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#703
May 16, 2019, 07:21 AM
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Zopiclone is a sleep medicine that tastes like metal, baclofen is a muscle relaxer that doesn’t get you high, pregablin I suppose is neuroleptic pain releaser, I don’t know about what the last one does.
__________________
Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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#704
May 16, 2019, 10:57 AM
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Back to day 1.... I hate resetting the clock on clean time. But I am making plans to change
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 Desoxyn
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| Desoxyn
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#705
May 16, 2019, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
No jk.. |
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#706
May 17, 2019, 06:12 AM
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Whoo Hoo,
7 months today. Feeling happy. splitimage
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| childofchaos831, Desoxyn, greentires4me, Loial
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#707
May 17, 2019, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
Tomorrow will be day 1 of being sober. No alcohol either. Maybe a drink whenever there is company? Because I don't have a problem with alcohol. Can I still count sober days? As long as I don't get drunk I guess.. I just want to count days =] I want to get to 6 months at least. That's my goal.. |
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#708
May 17, 2019, 11:22 PM
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I'll overdose on music tho..
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#709
May 18, 2019, 10:02 AM
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Desoxyn,
There's no such thing as OD'ing on music. If there were I'd be dead a long time ago - I constantly have music on, it helps keep me sane and get through cravings. If you want to count, then count. Maybe to get around the fact that you still want to drink occassionally and don't think you have a problem with it, you could just say something like X days free from hard drugs. 6 months is a really good goal, but I find it easier to start with by counting smaller and quicker sober goals, like 21 days, then a whole month whatever helps you feel good about it. splitimage
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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#710
May 18, 2019, 06:54 PM
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Makes sense.. Although I popped an extra vyvanse so I don't get tired when I drink corona..
Idk.. I just want to have fun and motivation.. I'm so tired all the time. I'm not taking the kratom anymore but i think the lingering effects are still making me tired.. It's miserable and rainy outside. I'm miserable and rainy inside. |
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#711
May 19, 2019, 05:43 PM
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Desoxyn
I'm sorry you were feeling so down yesterday. I hope that today has been better for you. I suspect a lot of what you're feeling is the kratom withdrawal. Good luck with everything. splitimage
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| Desoxyn
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#712
May 19, 2019, 06:11 PM
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And on another note. Police were involved, but I got my problem room mate evicted. And I didn't drink, even though I really wanted to. I had a chocolate bar instead.
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| childofchaos831, Desoxyn, greentires4me
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#713
May 19, 2019, 06:56 PM
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Quote:
__________________
 Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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#714
May 20, 2019, 07:15 PM
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I took 6g kratom yesterday and just slept the whole day and then the whole night. Unmotivated. The kratom could be making me depressed.
I forgot I still had weed gummies so I took one 5mg 15 minutes ago. If I get anxious from it, I'll take a benzo.. I just want to lose my mind. Escape reality. Be destructive. Be filled with life. Not depression. |
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#715
May 20, 2019, 09:36 PM
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I don't know what I want so I am doing a clean out of my closet, so to speak.
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| bizi
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#716
May 21, 2019, 08:14 AM
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@Desoxyn to combat a high from THC one uses CBD right after the THC will reduce and less likely you become anxious. It’s a trick I learned from this guy whose and avid medical marijuana patient.
__________________
Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
| Desoxyn
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#717
May 22, 2019, 05:44 PM
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Had a good appointment with my addictions Dr. today & filled her in on my room mate & health stuff, and I told her how relieved I was to be on the Antabuse, so I didn't drink through any of it. She agreed with me, that if I had been drinking the situations might be much worse.
I asked her if I could rejoin the aftercare group which meets Tuesday mornings, and she was happy with it. That will be good as it's a structured activity that gets me out of my head and out of my apartment, and ensures that I interact with people, instead of my default isolating.
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| bizi
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| bizi, greentires4me
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#718
May 23, 2019, 08:01 PM
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split this sounds like a good plan.
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#719
May 25, 2019, 08:46 PM
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how is it going?
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#720
May 26, 2019, 08:54 AM
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Day 700!
__________________
| |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
| bizi
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| bizi, greentires4me, Loial
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#721
May 26, 2019, 03:39 PM
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I keep getting bad news my doctor thinks I might have MS. That would explain the falls I have been having over the last several months though.
Today is weird it’s 1414days sober.
__________________
Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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#722
May 26, 2019, 06:57 PM
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split, congratulations on you sobriety!!!!
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#723
May 27, 2019, 07:37 AM
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Greentires, I'm so sorry about the possible MS diagnosis. I'd find that very scary. When will you have followup to find out for sure?
And congratulations on the interesting numeric milestone. splitimage
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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#724
May 27, 2019, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Well he’s referring me to a different doctor whom ever it may be. Hopefully soon the sooner the better. I applied for a position working as a breakfast cook at my building. Hopefully I can pull it off. Yes 1414 days is quite cool on my books.
__________________
Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
| bizi
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| bizi
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#725
May 31, 2019, 07:07 PM
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Doing well.. Still alive..
Regretted flushing my psychedelics so I bought more. Psilacetin, metocin and the God molecule (Toad venom).. Snorted 10mg psilacetin which is 1g shroom.. Had a little trip no biggy.. At least it's not methcokecrackheroin.. Took a xanax to stop the trip early.. But I'm not taking xanax all the time. I flushed 140 of them so I'd run out early.. Took 5mg THC today and it didn't get me high for some reason.. No weird borderline psychosis thoughts.. Drank 3 hard iced teas last night and then 3 this morning. I feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin and tired. Went to drink coffee with people today. Other than that I'm doing good.. I have a pill box where I organize my pills for the day.. Still taking the Vyvanse as prescribed which I'm surprised about.. It's cuz I need it to function and won't abuse it... |
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