[splitimage]

I had a really tough day in IOP today, the topics were shame and guilt, Self-empowerment, and self - forgiveness, all areas I struggle with.

But I particularly struggle with self-forgiveness and moving on. I've screwed up so much with my drinking, and made so many mistakes, that I'm having trouble moving on from, and I know it's hindering my recovery.

So how have you forgiven yourself / moved on from past screwups?

splitimage

[UpDownAround]

I am not sure I ever really forgive, I just move on and let it get behind me far enough not to sting so much. Moving on seems to come naturally; what other choice do you really have?

I don't like that I can get out of control with substances and food and I don't think I have defeated those demons yet but I don't spend all my time worrying about it.

[bizi]

I am definitely not there yet.
I am discouraged at my lack of control. I had one day of AF and going to the gym. then drank last night.
sigh
bizi

[sans]

Guilt and shame have been my life story. I am trying to learn mindfulness and when I really focus on it, it works.
When we are in the present moment, there is no depression about yesterday or anxiety about tomorrow. I feel it’s truly the best way to live.
Being a creature of habit, it’s very challenging to tune out the bad thoughts and live for today.
I think you can do it splitimage. You have the tools. It’s a matter of breaking old thought patterns and making new ones. I believe it’s a constant effort to disconnect the bad feelings we have about ourselves, and set up a whole new system.
If we look at what we’ve done good in our lives, it probably surpasses the bad choices we’ve made.
Keep going until you get it the way you choose.

[bizi]

These are wise words san.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

What helps me is getting reminded that you can't change the past, there's things I did that I'll always feel guilty about but there's nothing I can do about them now

I don't want to post the things I regret on the main forum though, but if you feel it would help you to know everyone has regrets, I'm happy to PM you, splitimage

[splitimage]

Thanks everyone.

UpDownAround, I'm impressed that you're able to let go. I wish I was that easily.

Bizi, Don't beat yourself up. Maybe abstinence isn't the right goal for you right now. Harm reduction maybe?

Sans - you're right about mindfulness being so helpful. I used to be really good at practicing it, but have gotten away from it in the past 18 months or so. I really need to get back into it, since I think you're right it would help.

whispershadow, thanks. You're right I need to remind myself that there's nothing I can do to change the past, I need to focus on the present.

I'm doing marginally better. Stayed sober yesterday, and today am feeling kind of numb, which is normal for me after a very emotional relapse. Going to focus on staying sober today, and work on a job application. Will also try to get some knitting done as that usually makes me feel better.

splitimage