Husband lashed out on me

Hi...so yelling and getting defensive is one of the sure signs of lying.
Sounds to me that he is doing drugs again. Knowing you want to be in denial because you don't want to deal with it.

But as you said 80 dollars went missing and your brother was not around.

As far as your brothers choices to do drugs...You could not follow him to college and be his support or live his life for him.

You have to realize that God or a higher power is in control for the fate of your brother and not you...I had to realize this for one of my sons.

And the minute I got super burnt out finally after many years of loving, protecting and saving my son....I one night said....I give him to you God...because I can no longer drain myself of this wasted energy concerning worrying about him every second.

You can only make choices for yourself....You can chose to stand by your lying husband...or you can chose to ask him to do something about his "problem" HIS problem...just like your brothers problems are your brothers problems.

Or you may have to make a choice to remove YOURSELF from the situation YOU have control ONLY OVER YOUR CHOICES and you can chose to be happy or be in the constant chaos that drug addiction brings with it.