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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,980
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Jan 20, 2022 at 11:32 PM
#401
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 Bill3, MuddyBoots
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 Bill3
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
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Jan 25, 2022 at 03:50 PM
#402
10 months clean & sober today and I feel like using. I've been depressed pretty much since they put me on haldol almost 3 months ago and I'm dealing with some hellish side effects I have a feeling some oxy might help with but I'm on valium and last time I mixed opioids and benzos I almost died so and I'm not willing to stop the valium just to get high. Well, I am, but again I won't.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Bill3, buddha1too, Desoxyn, splitimage
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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Jan 28, 2022 at 09:51 PM
#403
Congratulations on your ten months!
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| MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,980
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,908 hugs
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Feb 19, 2022 at 07:45 PM
#404
I'm freaking out in every single way that I can
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| Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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Feb 19, 2022 at 09:29 PM
#405
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| Desoxyn
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Moderator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,270
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Feb 26, 2022 at 10:29 AM
#406
This feels like a bit of a miracle to me. I just finished a really intense 8 week trauma therapy program, and I wasn't triggered to drink once, which was something I was a bit worried about when I started, But the thought of drinking didn't even occur to me. I feel so grateful for my sobriety.
__________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
15 24.1k hugs
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Feb 26, 2022 at 02:08 PM
#407
Congratulations! That is just so awesome!!
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,980
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,908 hugs
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Feb 26, 2022 at 09:43 PM
#408
Meds;
Invega Trinza 525mg 12/w Vyvanse 60mg Dexedrine XR 15mg Wellbutrin 150mg SR Atenolol 2x 50mg Olanzepine 10mg Zopiclone 3.25mg Clonazepam 0.25mg PRN (Adjusting) Vitamin D 1000iu Fish oil 2x Coffee in the morning Evening CBD weed Tea at night Phenibut (Tapering down to take 500mg 2x a week) Nicotine gum (Will quit after a few weeks on 300mg Wellbutrin) Alcohol (STOPPED DRINKING) Shroom (Rarely) Alprazolam (Keep in case) + Other things.. that can be therapeutic.. nature.. therapy.. family/friends.. music.. hobbies.. learning.. socializing.. life changing events.. vacation.. eating healthy.. exercise.. regular comfort.. stepping outside comfort.. contributing to society/the world (Or not).. finding meaning.. questioning values/convictions.. pets.. self care.. feeling wide range of emotions/experiences.. sharing what is inside my head.. creating art/expressing self.. having fun.. overcoming challenges/solving problems.. general enjoyment of life.. being a person.. idk stuff like that.. It's going to take a bit of time to taper these drugs. Maybe it will take a month... Or more. I'm not sure. Last edited by Desoxyn; Feb 26, 2022 at 10:14 PM.. |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
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Mar 01, 2022 at 12:41 PM
#409
Sooo... I have a script for Vicodin after having a few screws put in my broken hip. I'm in a **** ton of pain and haven't filled it yet. I can't give them to my dad (who I'm living with currently) because I know he'll go through the whole thing himself in a few days. I could go back to my mom's and have her dish them out to me as frequently as they're prescribed. Tylenol and ice aren't doing jack for my pain. I really wanted to recover without taking a single rx painkiller.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Bill3, Desoxyn
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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Mar 01, 2022 at 01:13 PM
#410
((((((((Sapien))))))))
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| MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,270
18 75 hugs
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Mar 02, 2022 at 09:09 AM
#411
(((Sapien))
I'm sorry you're in pain. My addictions Dr. has always told me that if a Dr. legitimately prescribes me pain pills to take them, but then they were never really my thing, Staying with your Mom for a few days sounds like a good plan if possible, __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
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Mar 02, 2022 at 12:08 PM
#412
Thanks. I'm at my mom's and she's giving me one pill at a time and locked up the bottle in a secret location. It doesn't hurt too bad now and I'm not even really tempted to take more.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Bill3
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Bill3, Desoxyn
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,270
18 75 hugs
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Mar 03, 2022 at 05:43 AM
#413
That's really good news Sapien. Thanks for the update.
__________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
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Mar 19, 2022 at 12:37 PM
#414
I feel like using again. I'm about a week shy of a year clean and for some reason it's bothering me, although I was happy when my therapist told me they added "substance use disorder- in remission" to my list of dx's now I'm thinking I don't deserve the last two words. I'm not going to lie I really miss the high.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again Last edited by MuddyBoots; Mar 19, 2022 at 01:27 PM.. |
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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Mar 19, 2022 at 03:48 PM
#415
Hang in there Sapien!
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| MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,270
18 75 hugs
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Mar 20, 2022 at 10:00 AM
#416
Sapien,
Hang in. I know that I had increased cravings arouund my 1 year mark, and I've heard it enough times from other people that I think it's pretty common. But look at how far you've come and how hard you've worked. Is it worth blowing that for a temporary high that could really set you back. Stay strong. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| MuddyBoots
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Bill3, MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
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Mar 23, 2022 at 06:14 PM
#417
So I'm still on track to making a year (on Friday) but I'm still mad struggling with intermittent urges to use. These urges are about as intense as when I first stopped the opioids. I don't get why I'm having them all of a sudden. Yeah, it's about a year since I did anything but why should that matter?
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,270
18 75 hugs
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Mar 24, 2022 at 04:58 AM
#418
Read up on Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). It's a cluster of physical and mental symptoms that can appear in poeple in early recovery. One of the symptoms is having urges to use. It often hits around the one year mark.
You can get through this, and I'm looking forward to celebrating with you on Fri. __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| MuddyBoots
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Bill3, MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,094
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
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Mar 25, 2022 at 07:29 AM
#419
Made it!
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Bill3, Desoxyn
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Bill3, Desoxyn
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
15 24.1k hugs
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Mar 25, 2022 at 08:42 AM
#420
Congratulations! 😃
Well done!
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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