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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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#521
I have a rare opinion about addiction.
Short, I was an impulsive reck. And I've built my life, trying to get away from that place.. Psilocybin is definitely preferred to be done with a professional therapist.. But it happened. I advise strong caution (The most severe of cautions), as a bad trip can happen. And it did. Many years later, I didn't focus on the drugs.. I explored, and gained/retained responsibility... Awareness.. Many things.. Spirituality etc.. I would like to make some type of career - Such as neuroscience, psychology, pharmacology (Neuropsychopharmacology) - But that is just a type of dream. I'd like to heal my own trauma... And then help others, with their trauma.. Trauma is the cause. Most people have trauma, in this life.. Some have it so bad - So it is, that the harder the heroin is slammed, into the veins... |
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3rd rock, Bill3, cptsdvictim, LadyShadow
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iscreamparty, LadyShadow
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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#522
I graduated from IOP this week. Now I'm just on the ACT co-occurring disorders treatment team (which is the basics for me so yay! )
I became really close to someone I met in residential and he let me stay at his place for a few nights to get away from my house/neighborhood (lots of drug/alcohol use), but I have to be home Monday to see my case manager whom I will be discussing alternative living options with. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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3rd rock, Bill3, LadyShadow
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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4 6,124 hugs
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#523
"Is it me or the booze that really gets wasted?"
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3rd rock, LadyShadow
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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4 6,124 hugs
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#524
Well, ****, I knew coming back home would be a bad idea.
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3rd rock, Bill3, Desoxyn
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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4 6,124 hugs
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#525
this isn't fun anymore. Now I just feel like a slave to the chemicals.
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3rd rock, Bill3, Samicat
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
5 6,163 hugs
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#526
I am beginning to contemplate making a self-referral to the local addictions center.
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LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Samicat
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LadyShadow, MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,124 hugs
given |
#527
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3rd rock, LadyShadow
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,487
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#528
I had a drunk dream lat night for the first time in ages. It was very realistic and disturbing.
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3rd rock, Buffy01, LadyShadow, Samicat
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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4 6,124 hugs
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#529
Tomorrow's 50 days sober
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3rd rock, LadyShadow
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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8 4,929 hugs
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#530
Simply not taking any drug that effects my heart (Mostly serotonergics are the problem - Such as psilocybin, LSD and DMT - GHB also makes heart beat weird, so no more of those).
The meds I've tried that give me heart palps are also serotonergic (Such as Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, Seroquel and Remeron). Also "Tianeptine" - I threw that away. I've been doing good - Need Hydromorph-CONTINs.. Idk.. Last summer I snorted the 10x 8mg Dilaudids, and left it as that for 6+ months. I drank alcohol ~15 times in over a year (In all of 2022, I drank 1-2 double shots once per afternoon), and weed. I smoked weed recently, and it made me really paranoid. I'm giving the weed (That my moms friend gave to me as a gift), as a gift to someone else. |
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3rd rock
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
given |
#531
When I feel bad, I reach for the ketamine.
I wish to stop doing all of these things. I need support or I won't be able to do the things I want. I've decided to quit now. At least I plan to stop before I turn 30. |
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3rd rock
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,070
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#532
it’s taken a long time to breaking my addiction.
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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3rd rock, LadyShadow
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
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#533
I'm on the waitlist to get into a detox facility; they told me the other day it would likely be a couple more weeks until a bed becomes available. And after I complete detox, I will enter a long-term residential treatment facility. I know intellectually that's not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes I'm so desperate that it feels like 2 weeks may as well be 2 years. In the meantime, every doctor, nurse, and counselor I've spoken to has expressly told me not to stop drinking except under inpatient supervision, as alcohol is one of the worst drugs in the world to withdraw from. They tell me you can die from it.
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LadyShadow
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,709
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#534
10 months in Jail, 15 months in rehab, 9 months in sober living, 4 months on my own - I will be three years sober in 2 weeks and it feels absolutely surreal. My higher power has taken the urge to drink from me, and I am beyond grateful. Being in recovery has changed my life.
__________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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3rd rock, Bill3
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Bill3
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El Psy Congroo
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 5,502
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#535
So, my goal had been 6 cans a day, but I was struggling with having spare alcohol in the fridge.
So for the past 3 days I’ve been on 4 cans and a large bottle. It equates to just over 5 cans, so I’m really happy. I feel proud I’ve smashed this weeks goal. __________________ The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again... "To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive." Robert Louis Stevenson
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Bill3
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,292
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4 6,124 hugs
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#536
I’m slipping. I had vague memories of drinking while dissociated a couple weeks back, before that I was dissociated of the blacked out variety for weeks and when I came out of it I had track marks. I just brushed this off as a “that wasn’t me,” episode and said I’d do better. I’m, as far as I can say, not dissociating and feel like regular but depressed Sam, but still drank. Not a lot, just probably three drinks worth but it was hard liquor and I can tell it’s going to be hard to stop this ball from going down the hill.
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Bill3
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