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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
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Apr 22, 2020 at 05:38 PM
#61
I had sleep paralysis 4 times last night because I mixed phenibut, alprazolam and zopiclone.
I'm trying to get a handle on this. I'm gonna wait 2-3 days without alprazolam and then take 0.25mg a day for 1-2 weeks and then stop. I'm lowering the phenibut by 50-100mg a day. Can't drink alcohol cuz it makes my heart beat fast. If no more zopiclone is prescribed I'll be up for days. But I'm handling this well. |
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 Bill3
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Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Apr 27, 2020 at 06:53 AM
#62
I'm happy. I just learned yesterday that my mental health clubhouse is offering 3 online Double Recovery meetings a week. I was missing them, so I'm happy to have the on-line meetings to go to.
splitimage __________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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 Desoxyn
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
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Apr 27, 2020 at 09:44 AM
#63
I am doing well today. I am working on my bad habits. I am trying to make positive change.
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
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May 02, 2020 at 08:40 PM
#64
On 0.25mg of alprazolam every evening. Down to 500mg of phenibut. Tomorrow I'll take 400mg.
That's it? Yeah that's it... I've been really really persistent for 6 months and it's gotten better. |
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Bill3, WastingAsparagus
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
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May 03, 2020 at 08:07 PM
#65
Not doing well. Can't taper the alprazolam. Need 0.5mg a day.
I'm gonna ask the doctor for a longer acting benzo like diazepam to taper by 2mg diazepam every two weeks. I told my mom. She's not happy. I took an extra dose of phenibut today. I couldn't sleep last night tossing and turning for 6 hours worried about my heart every time i was drifting into sleep. Horrible horrible. |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,711
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May 03, 2020 at 09:29 PM
#66
Quote:
Alprazolam is notoriously hard to taper. I tapered alprazolam with clonazepam -- maybe that would help you? I remember how difficult it was to just taper alprazolam alone. I would not want to do that again. That stuff is tough to taper off of. |
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
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May 06, 2020 at 05:40 PM
#67
I'm gonna try cutting the benzo in half again
When I decide to quit something, I quit when I'm ready. And when I'm ready, nothing stops me. Until then I'll book an appointment with my doctor for a longer acting benzo. |
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WastingAsparagus
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
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May 06, 2020 at 11:43 PM
#68
I'm really trying not to use tonight
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childofchaos831
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
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May 07, 2020 at 12:13 AM
#69
Quote:
__________________  Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,528
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May 07, 2020 at 08:41 AM
#70
Went to my first on-line Double Recovery meeting yesterday and it was pretty good. It was pretty heavily slanted towards AA, which sometimes happens, It all depends on who shows up. But I found it a bit frustrating.
splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Bill3, childofchaos831, greentires4me
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,711
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May 08, 2020 at 01:26 AM
#71
Still thinking about stuff. I mean, I cannot quit anything. Haven't been able to quit alcohol recently, which is bad, because, well, my therapist often says "eh, you don't have a drinking problem, etc." And cannot quit other problematic behaviors like sex things I mentioned in another thread on this forum. I want to blame it all on my therapist but I cannot, since I know I have some agency in the matter. I just think she could be of more help. I am looking for a new therapist.
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| Desoxyn
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greentires4me
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: planet earth
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May 08, 2020 at 03:22 AM
#72
Quote:
Good on you for standing up at least looking for another therapist it’s the step in the right direction. __________________ Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,528
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May 14, 2020 at 08:52 AM
#73
Good morning everyone,
I've decided to apply to become a certified moderator with Women for Sobriety, so that I could run in-person meetings. I'm going to put my application in today. Really excited to be starting the process. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
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May 15, 2020 at 04:53 PM
#74
I've been taking 0.5mg of alprazolam every evening since my last post.
Today I was prescribed 14x 5mg diazepams to take once a night for 2 weeks and then I stop. I think it will work.. I just need to sleep. I'm taking the pharmacists advice though to take every night for a few nights and then only take as needed for if I can't sleep or have an impending sense of doom. I had the impending sense of doom a few days ago because my meds were locked in the car and my sister was away with the keys - My mom gave me a lorazepam. So far I'm on 650mg of phenibut. I plan to stop taking it because it makes me feel stupid at antidepressive doses - Even though it's the only thing that allows me to cope with my moms histrionic personality disorder. Other than that I'm good. I drank one glass of wine last week and it made me suicidal - That's the last time I'm drinking alcohol. Psychedelics made me intolerant to alcohol. |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
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May 16, 2020 at 05:58 PM
#75
It's easy for me to go back into drugs at this time. Which drugs I don't know.
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,528
18 79 hugs
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May 17, 2020 at 08:11 AM
#76
Today is 19 months. That's my absolute longest sober period I've had, since I was maybe 16, and I'm 51 now. Really happy with it.
splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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| gary290
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Desoxyn, greentires4me
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
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May 18, 2020 at 09:57 PM
#77
Quote:
Time sure has passed |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
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May 18, 2020 at 10:02 PM
#78
I only took 3x 5mg diazepam in four days (That's 0.75mg of alprazolam worth). I would have taken 2mg of alprazolam by now if it wasn't for the diazepam.
It's gonna slowly decrease in my blood concentration. I'm only going to take it if I can't sleep by ~4am or if I get impending sense of doom. If I get derealization, I'll take 5mg of diazepam with a zopiclone and sleep it off - Especially if it's just mild depersonalization. Down to 500mg of phenibut. Tomorrow will be 450mg! I'm doing very good  I have no craving to get high on these chemicals because I really want to be responsible and stop this madness. |
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| Bill3
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Bill3
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
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May 20, 2020 at 04:53 PM
#79
I feel beyond help right now. Nothing is working. I want to turn to old behaviors. I also know it won't help. This feels pretty awful :sad:
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| Bill3, gary290
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,528
18 79 hugs
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May 21, 2020 at 04:04 PM
#80
((((puzzclar))))
I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I've been there many times, and used and regretted it. Honestly, if you can find a way to get through this, without using, you'll feel a lot better. Take care. splitimage __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Bill3
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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