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  #526  
Old Nov 07, 2023, 06:52 AM
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I am beginning to contemplate making a self-referral to the local addictions center.
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  #527  
Old Nov 07, 2023, 09:45 AM
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Daily Check In #4
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  #528  
Old Nov 08, 2023, 06:21 AM
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I had a drunk dream lat night for the first time in ages. It was very realistic and disturbing.
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  #529  
Old Nov 23, 2023, 02:30 PM
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Tomorrow's 50 days sober
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  #530  
Old Feb 07, 2024, 10:32 PM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
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Simply not taking any drug that effects my heart (Mostly serotonergics are the problem - Such as psilocybin, LSD and DMT - GHB also makes heart beat weird, so no more of those).

The meds I've tried that give me heart palps are also serotonergic (Such as Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, Seroquel and Remeron).

Also "Tianeptine" - I threw that away.

I've been doing good - Need Hydromorph-CONTINs.. Idk.. Last summer I snorted the 10x 8mg Dilaudids, and left it as that for 6+ months.

I drank alcohol ~15 times in over a year (In all of 2022, I drank 1-2 double shots once per afternoon), and weed.

I smoked weed recently, and it made me really paranoid. I'm giving the weed (That my moms friend gave to me as a gift), as a gift to someone else.
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  #531  
Old Feb 26, 2024, 06:59 PM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
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When I feel bad, I reach for the ketamine.

I wish to stop doing all of these things.

I need support or I won't be able to do the things I want.

I've decided to quit now. At least I plan to stop before I turn 30.
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  #532  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 07:47 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Location: USA
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it’s taken a long time to breaking my addiction.
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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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  #533  
Old Apr 11, 2024, 06:59 PM
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I'm on the waitlist to get into a detox facility; they told me the other day it would likely be a couple more weeks until a bed becomes available. And after I complete detox, I will enter a long-term residential treatment facility. I know intellectually that's not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes I'm so desperate that it feels like 2 weeks may as well be 2 years. In the meantime, every doctor, nurse, and counselor I've spoken to has expressly told me not to stop drinking except under inpatient supervision, as alcohol is one of the worst drugs in the world to withdraw from. They tell me you can die from it.
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  #534  
Old Apr 11, 2024, 07:05 PM
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,789
10 months in Jail, 15 months in rehab, 9 months in sober living, 4 months on my own - I will be three years sober in 2 weeks and it feels absolutely surreal. My higher power has taken the urge to drink from me, and I am beyond grateful. Being in recovery has changed my life.
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  #535  
Old Apr 22, 2024, 03:15 PM
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Loial Loial is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: UK
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So, my goal had been 6 cans a day, but I was struggling with having spare alcohol in the fridge.

So for the past 3 days I’ve been on 4 cans and a large bottle. It equates to just over 5 cans, so I’m really happy. I feel proud I’ve smashed this weeks goal.
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The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again...

"To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive." Robert Louis Stevenson
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  #536  
Old May 14, 2024, 01:51 PM
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I’m slipping. I had vague memories of drinking while dissociated a couple weeks back, before that I was dissociated of the blacked out variety for weeks and when I came out of it I had track marks. I just brushed this off as a “that wasn’t me,” episode and said I’d do better. I’m, as far as I can say, not dissociating and feel like regular but depressed Sam, but still drank. Not a lot, just probably three drinks worth but it was hard liquor and I can tell it’s going to be hard to stop this ball from going down the hill.
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