[poisonedbee]

hi everyone, i’m not exactly sure how to use this or if i’m doing this right but i figured i would share a bit of my story. i’m 28. i got sentenced to 5 years of fed probation 5 years ago because i didn’t want to put my ex in prison. ( i didn’t want to tell on him) so they of course found anything they could on me to take me to court. anyway , i had never done anything other than smoke pot. i have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, adhd. now that i was on fed probation i wasn’t allowed to smoke anymore which that was the only thing that helped with all my disorders. i am a dancer and i don’t drink alcohol. i started to self medicate. taking aderal, xanax and hydrocodone. i have a doctor who has been prescribing all 3 every month for the last 5 years. there is od course SO much more to my story than this but i can’t stop thinking about how anyone allowed this to happen? my probation officer or my doctor? i am now 5 years addicted to aderal and hydrocodone and still can’t smoke pot and i am struggling SO MUCH and afraid to ask for help because i am still but almost done with my probation sentence. i just don’t know what to do.

[Skeezyks]

Hellopoisonedbee: Welcome to Psych Central. Thank you for sharing a bit about your struggle. I hope you find being here on PC to be of benefit.

[sarahsweets]

Are you drug tested as part of your probation?

[bpcyclist]

How did you get this far without them picking up in your use? They drug test all the time.

I spent 10 years in a state forensic psych program, 5 years in a famous, abusive state hospital. I relate. Please tell us what else is happening, so we can be more helpful.