[shovelhead]

Hi. I'm glad I quit alcohol because it really was my master. But now that I'm recovered for years..I need back a few traits I possessed while being an active alcoholic. Because my life is currently still in shambles from alcoholism.
#1 I want back, is Fearlessness
#2 Risk taker
There's more, but I need these 2 traits I used to have, BACK! So I can fix this horrible mess alcohol ultimately caused. And my clouded thinking & poor judgment. Sobriety is not a cure-all, unfortunately. Life is very difficult! But at least I'm not drunk & passed out.

[buddha1too]

I don't consider myself recovered...I will always be recovering. Past experience taught me I'm only one beer away from another binge. I know what you're getting at, though.

[shovelhead]

I feel freaking trapped & hopeless, lately! Its really pushing me to the limit. I'm hoping my old fearless drive & determination is going to come blasting through, soon now. I have been spiritually ascending all along, every year of ongoing sobriety. I need the old me back, minus alcohol, of course. Why can't I do this?? I used to take risks & I'm a super hard worker. Why am I stuck.....

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by shovelhead

Hi. I'm glad I quit alcohol because it really was my master. But now that I'm recovered for years..I need back a few traits I possessed while being an active alcoholic. Because my life is currently still in shambles from alcoholism.
#1 I want back, is Fearlessness
#2 Risk taker
There's more, but I need these 2 traits I used to have, BACK! So I can fix this horrible mess alcohol ultimately caused. And my clouded thinking & poor judgment. Sobriety is not a cure-all, unfortunately. Life is very difficult! But at least I'm not drunk & passed out.

Glad you’re on a sober journey Shovel…how many years has it been now?

[Geminiguy]

Oh man!! 11 years off swimming in alchohol BUT i still indulge from time to in light beer. On the right cocktail of meds. Does this make me an alchoholic being for the most part Im stable on meds?? I know my liver ain't liking it mixing the combo...

[buddha1too]

Welcome, Geminiguy.

In my case, I was the only one who could determine whether I was an alcoholic, or not. I was a beer drinker, too. In my case, my drinking affected the way I conducted myself when I drank. I never drank every day, but when I did I always drank to excess. As far as my liver goes, I'm sure my drinking didn't give me "physical superpowers," but when I go to the doctor he always runs liver enzyme tests. So far, so good. Good luck determining whether you have a problem!

[shovelhead]

Hi all! Sorry I haven't been on forum lately. Thanks for all of your replies & I will read them. One question I saw quickly...I'm on year 5 in 2021, of no alcohol.

[splitimage]

As I reread your post, something occurred to me. I felt very much the same way when I was in early sobriety. I was sober, but didn't have the motivation or drive to do anything, when pre-recovery I waw super driven and ambitious.


I finally figured out that it was because my self esteem was so low from drinking and relapsing that I really doubted I could do anything.

Then I started doing some low key volunteering at my psych hospital, and that started to rebuild my confidence, and then I started volunteering more places, and again this helped with my self esteem. Now I'm really intensely involved with volunteering as a patient advocate at my psych hospital and my self esteem is coming back by leaps and bounds. Now I'm looking to get back into the workforce part time to start.

I don't know if you're currently working or not, but if you're not working, I strongly suggest volunteering for something you believe in. It helped me recapture something of my old self.