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darkfeary
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Default Nov 27, 2021 at 12:40 AM
  #1
I am 5 days sober from alcohol and cigarettes.
I am also out of town visiting family. HUGE MISTAKE.
My life just seems pointless like chasing dreams that will never come true.

I need to give up smoking and drinking for good bc of my health but I really do not want to give them up. My life is so lonely and empty even around my kids and family. I constantly feel like dirt and useless and a failure. I have become overly sensitive and emotional. I feel deeply hurt by the slightest things people say or do. I feel all alone like no one really cares about me.

I have struggled with this for 21 years and only gotten worse. I have tried everything there is now.

I think the best option would be to just slip away and move to an unknown place leaving everything and everyone behind and living alone for the rest of my life. The emotional pain is just too unbearable too.
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sarahsweets
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Default Nov 27, 2021 at 01:28 AM
  #2
Hey @darkfeary I too am an alcoholic and have been sober for nearly 9 years. I used AA to get sober but have backed off in person meetings until I feel it is worth it. I feel I have to advise you not to quit both at once, Quiting alcohol for me was brutal. I should have gone to a detox and almost died. So stupid of me. But no way would I have been able to stop both.
In that case I look at harm reduction: Drinking will kill me, ruin my life, and I could end up in jail or dead. But smoking is bad for you yet it is legal and you can tackle it later.
How much were you drinking?
What are you using to abstain from alcohol?
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfeary View Post
I am 5 days sober from alcohol and cigarettes.
I am also out of town visiting family. HUGE MISTAKE.
My life just seems pointless like chasing dreams that will never come true.

I need to give up smoking and drinking for good bc of my health but I really do not want to give them up. My life is so lonely and empty even around my kids and family. I constantly feel like dirt and useless and a failure. I have become overly sensitive and emotional. I feel deeply hurt by the slightest things people say or do. I feel all alone like no one really cares about me.

I have struggled with this for 21 years and only gotten worse. I have tried everything there is now.

I think the best option would be to just slip away and move to an unknown place leaving everything and everyone behind and living alone for the rest of my life. The emotional pain is just too unbearable too.

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darkfeary
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Default Nov 27, 2021 at 01:45 AM
  #3
I got my damn license revoked since last year for an ignition interlock device violation and it is unattainably difficult to meet the requirements for just a chance to get my license back. Such a long list of tasks and a huge involved in-depth impossible process. But I REALLY NEED to be able to drive again. I feel like I am in another form of jail.
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sarahsweets
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Default Nov 27, 2021 at 02:40 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfeary View Post
I got my damn license revoked since last year for an ignition interlock device violation and it is unattainably difficult to meet the requirements for just a chance to get my license back. Such a long list of tasks and a huge involved in-depth impossible process. But I REALLY NEED to be able to drive again. I feel like I am in another form of jail.

You need to get into treatment asap. Outpatient, php, iop, some kind of daily program that allows you to work on the mental and addiction piece. I give back a lot with AA and have gone to court with many people especially women. I also was taking meetings into the drug jail here. Judges want to see consistent action. They want to see a multifaceted plan of action. How much were you drinking?

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