[Woofy]

Possible trigger:

I recently almost accidently killed myself drinking. I had liter vodka and next thing I knew I was in ER with a catheter and IVs. They then sent my to a psyche ward after the hospital.

I am now on campral and should be getting antabuse soon. I hope it all works out. I don't really want to drink again but there is also a part of me that does. Though the worst part is drinking for negative reasons.

There are two types of reasonings for me to drink. 1 is because I think it will be fun. To me not drinking again is kind of a shame, but I'd rather find ways to have the same fun without alcohol. The reason it is fun is because it gets rid of my social anxiety so I can really interact with people, and I really enjoy interacting with people.

The 2nd reason for drinking is to cope with depression or being triggered. I live in a toxic environment that triggers me a lot. This is much harder thing for making me quit. I can white knuckle it when it comes to not drinking for fun, but trying not to drink when triggered seems impossible for me. Any advice?

Anyhow, if I don't skip out on antabuse it should really end my drinking I hope. The campral seems to help with cravings a little bit but the previous two things I talked about still apply and it doesn't solve those completely. I imagine it would work perfectly if it was just pure alcoholism that had nothing to do with anxiety or being triggered at all.

[Yaowen]

I can definitely identify with you!

[Woofy]

Thanks. I'm just anxious how these next few months will go though. As bad of a coping mechanism drinking is, it still is a coping mechanism so I'm left wondering how to maintain my sanity here until I can move.

[splitimage]

It's great that you're dealing with your drinking problem. Good for you taking Antabuse, as that really shuts the door on drinking. Whatever you do, do not drink while you're on it. You'll get incredibly sick - I know I drank on it, and learned the hard way.

Personally I found that when I quit drinking, especially in the beginning I needed support. I went to AA and the community really helped me. Then I switched over to Women for Sobriety, which is an option if you're female. SMART recovery is also a good option. I strongly recommend that you find a program that fits for you as it can make a huge difference in getting through difficult times.

[Shoe]

I can identify with your reasons for drinking Woofy. It sounds a lot like me when I was in my mid 20s. I was lucky enough to go thru a rehab program for free at a USPH hospital in the mid 70s in SF. They got everyone there on antabuse. They said it was a tool to help establish sober habits. Support groups are good because you need to try and change the people that you hang with, at least with me that was the case.
I always found that drinking seemed to slowly make my depression worse down the road. Social anxiety and dealing with stress is something that I slowly had to work on. I remember the head doctor telling us about the pitfall of using Valium to deal with stress.. The source of the stress is not going to go away once the Valium wears off. He was trying to encourage us to have the courage to face the source of the stress and work thru it being sober.