[splitimage]

First off I'll say there's no chance I would drink. I'm supposed to meet an old family friend today for dinner and she wants to meet at a pub.


The pub has a full menu and but is still a pub specializing in craft beers. But I'm feeling weirdly uncomfortable about meeting her there. I don't go to pubs normally and I never go to them with friends, we stick to restaurants. I know I'll be tempted to drink while there.

I'm not sure if I should ask her to change the location, or if I should just suck it up because I've been sober long enough that I should be ok.

[mote.of.soul]

Hi splitimage. I put myself in the friends shoes and I don't think it would come across as a big inconvenience to ask for a change of venue. And also I think of what an AA sponsor might say regarding being in a pub, about the 'cunning, baffling and powerful' nature of the disease: you never know. Obviously I'm erring on the side of caution.🙏

[divine1966]

If a friend or a family member asked me to change a venue because they worked hard on their sobriety, I’d be more than happy to change meeting location. You don’t need to suck it up. It’s ok to change it

[waldeinsamkeit]

I agree with everyone above. I think she should be able to understand and I'm sure she'd hopefully want you to be comfortable and at ease when you meet up.

[Gavreel]

One of the indications that you have been cured of addiction is when you can walk right in to a pub and sit with other people that are drinking, that's when you'll know you're cured. if you are not sure then probably don't put yourself in to a position like that especially if you are really afraid of relapsing. One of the things I've learned from knowing people who are regular AA goers is they never people please but this gradually happens through training yourself to be disciplined even if it meant losing one of two people along the way.

[Nammu]

Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been clean, putting yourself in that position is risky. Ask for a venue change.

[splitimage]

Thanks for all the input everybody. I forgot about this thread, so I thought I'd update it.

I did wind up asking for a change of venue, and we went to a nice restaurant in the same neighbourhood so it was still convenient for both of us.

I had a nice time, and didn't feel tempted to drink at all, whereas I'm sure I would have felt at least a small craving if I'd gone to a pub.