Not sure if safe, or appropriate

I have something to say, and I've been looking for several weeks now for a place to say it. I don't know if this is the right place or not. While I myself do have a history with alcohol, what I'm discussing here is the effect on my life of other people’s addictions. Not just alcohol, but other substances too. Did I miss where the correct forum is? Or is this the place?

Or maybe Adult Children of Alcoholics? The next block on the index. ACOA goes along with codependency, which is what you are talking about?

That might be a good place to reach out. Thank you for the suggestion. What I'm dealing with is not a parent's addiction but growing up in that situation set me up for the position I'm in now.

Yeah i hear that.

i hope you'll be okay, arbie

Arbie, I'm sorry that you are dealing with the things that you are, whatever they may be.

Unaluna referenced codependency, is that some of what you're looking for? I'm codependent, not so much as a result of alcoholic family members, but due to different disorders which time and again pushed me into the role of a compulsive fixer and caretaker. Often without even having an awareness of what was going on.

At any rate, if there's a forum here for all-purpose codependency, I haven't yet found it. I've considered posting to the powers that be to request such a board, but am not even sure if or where that could be done.

I could definitely get behind a forum for codependency. I grew up in an alcoholic household. My mother, by her own admission, is codependent and taught me everything she knows. In my teen years, my mother and my siblings all started using too. Not just alcohol, but other substances. I then married an addict, who along with my own family members passed the disease along to our children, and my daughter has recently relapsed.

No matter how hard I try to straighten out my own life, I continue to be affected and disrupted by the actions of others. My daughter would rather have me at her beck and call, ready to drop anything I've got going on at a moment's notice, so I can come rescue her, and then she won't even stay rescued. For example, I'd drive her to a treatment center, at her own request, and then she leaves the next day. Or I'll drive her to an emergency room, and she'll leave without being seen.

Nope. I've stopped doing it. I am not putting my life on hold for her anymore. And now she resents the living snot out of the fact that I won't let her move back in with me. That's because I'm trying to live a sane life, here. I won't let her live under my roof and be disruptive.

Arbie, of course you're welcome to talk about stuff here. But I wondered if you had ever looked into Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. They are programs for family members of Alcoholics or Addicts and how to live your own life in the face of addictive behaviour. I have one friend who swears by Al-Anon. Just a thought.