Just found out husband using cocaine

Wings2flyy · Dec 31, 2023 at 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

There are people that consume alcohol, smoke pot, snort cocaine and hang around others that do the same and they refuse to recognize they have a problem and insist they are “ the victim” when they lose their job and their relationship falls apart. It doesn’t surprise me that your husband Denies he has a problem and plays the victim.

Cocaine IS an illegal drug so your husband is doing something that is in most states illegal.

People who use and abuse drugs tend to be very selfish and narcissistic. They live in denial and gaslight others and themselves. They DO NOT respect boundaries and can go into a rage and stomp around.

Your responsibility is not to him but for your children who do not have the life skills to understand the mood swings and strange behaviors that go along with drug use.

I am separated from him because of his behavior, that you have described. O thought he had anger issues and is controlling. Now wondering if it was me who ran out of patience or the drug use just made it worse. Because it’s exactly what you described. The stomping around and playing the victim.

Open Eyes · 02:33 AM

Cocaine is not only bad for the brain but it also damages the heart.

You are wise to distance from your ex and his ongoing addiction. People who use are selfish and exhibit many narcissistic behaviors. They live in their own fantasy world and can get very mean and nasty. And they are big cry babies unable to regulate their emotions. Definitely not healthy at all to be around children even late teens and young adults.

PIMV · Mar 03, 2024 at 08:31 PM

It sounds like there's a lot of issues there outside of his drug use. If there's no love or if he's a danger to you or your children (even if he doesn't mean to be) then you are probably better off far far away from him.

I couldn't help notice you said you felt "betrayed" by his drug use. While that's valid I have another perspective to offer.

When I met my wife she knew I was a heroin addict. When I tried to be with her she made me promise to ditch the drugs or she didn't want to be with me. I did ditch them...for all of 6 months. I started sneaking it around and shockingly I remained functional and was even able to hide it from her for years. Eventually I did get caught and it was a disaster. She told me she felt betrayed too. Fact is, my drug use was never about her. It was all about me and my baggage. Although it hurt her, she was not part of the reason I used at all and I never understood why she took it so personally. Selfish, true but in my opinion you can't take an addicts choices personally. They're usually only thinking about themselves.

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