When there's no one to talk to...

When there's no one you trust you can talk to, what do you do?

I feel so helpless.

((((raspberrytorte))))

I come on here and go into chat... eventually someone shows up.

There's the emotional support room on chat and if you have personal stuff to discuss, then ask someone to join you in ES.

Thanks.

I just feel so helpless with my addiction. Unfortunately it's a med I'm prescribed for my psychosis (seroquel) and when I told my pdoc I abuse it he completely dismissed me and just increased my dose. My therapist would just be more insistent I be med monitored, which wouldn't help me. My husband would just freak out. I'm prescribed 400mg a day, but on average
take double that dose, depending on how much extra I have, and right now I have a lot extra.

I tell myself I won't abuse it, but always end up taking more pills to get high. I'm happy I don't work or drive or I'd be in trouble.

I know I should probably come clean with my husband about this, but then he wouldn't trust me to take my meds properly, and I take everything else correctly (except for my propranolol. I was sorta a propranolol junkie the past month, ran out, and can't get a refill until the 30th). I want to be in control of my own meds.

I don't know. I'm just starting to feel like the seroquel is controlling me instead of me controlling it, if that makes any sense.

And my addiction makes me feel like a freak because it's such a strange med to abuse.

I don't know.

Thanks for reading.

((((raspberrytorte))))

I took seroquel for sleep 100 mg... but I just looked up the max dose and it says 800mg on the Mayo site.

For psychosis, I take Abilify 20 mg (used to take the max. 30 mg), I've also taken olanzepine/Zyprexa 20mg (30mg is the max) which put a lot of weight on me.

I've never expereinced a "high" from taking an antipsychotic.

Could you explain what you are experiencing exactly? In terms of the payoff for you or the "high" as you say?

Also, do you take propranolol for the shakes caused by seroquel or for heart rate?? I take propranolol 20mg twice a day (for heart rate), but I was told by my doc at the time that I couldn't just stop it myself, I'd have to have medical supervision to do it. So I'm concerned that you ran out of propranolol...

I'm surprised that your pdoc increased your seroquel dose after you admitted you take more than prescribed or "abused" it. Does your pdoc want you to take 800 mg????

Do you have yearly blood tests to check for toxicity levels in your body for the medications you take? I do... I'm concerned for toxicity levels going up if you self-dose your meds and take more than you're supposed to.

Could you go back to taking only 400mg of seroquel and ask your pharmacy to fill your monthy script with just that amount per day?

Seroquel feels SO GOOD. I'm also on 30mg of diazepam (scheduled) and it feels better than that. It's like floating on an anxiety free, sleepy pink cloud. Lol. If that makes any sense. In fact, I just took my 200mg nightly dose and it's kicking in and I'm going up to that pink cloud.

I should just tell my pdoc to put me on a different AP, but unfortunately I tolerate seroquel quite well, and my mental health is always very fragile, even on meds.

I'm diagnosed with GAD and schizoaffective bipolar type.

I take: lamictal (200mg), gabbies (3200mg), diazepam (30mg), propranolol (40mg), loxapine (50mg) and cymbalta (90mg) (and a couple of meds for weight control and a multivitamin). And obviously seroquel.

No I don't have a med toxicity level check. No my pdoc doesn't want me on 800mg of seroquel. I take propranolol for my anxiety. I've been on and off it, so I'm not worried. My pdoc has taken me off it cold turkey in the past without doctor supervision and I've been fine, so no worries.

Honestly, I think 🤔 I may be making a big deal out of nothing. It's just seroquel. Who cares. Whatever.

Pdoc and I will have a discussion though.

please read Seroquel is actually abused and there is a blood test to detect levels....