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New Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Cape Town
Posts: 4
5 |
Sep 29, 2018 at 11:56 AM
#1
Someone needs to know the truth. Anybody at this point.
I am in desperate need of help and guidance. I am struggling with addiction in a major way. In turn I have not kept track of my bi polar at all and at this point dont even know where I am at emotionally. Physically I am ill. I have flu. I vomit. I barely eat. I sometimes dont know how I am surviving. But I am afraid. I am very afraid. If this goes on it might be too late before I even realize it and I do not want this to happen. I have been using cocaine almost on a daily basis for 2 months. (I relapsed) I do not speak to my therapist or psychiatrist because all they suggest does not work for me. My psychiatrist says I am intellectualizing but I dont know how to explain the system of the 12 step program is not me. It does not work for me. I dont say this out of hate but out of experience. I am desperate to stay clean but I need to find a way that works for me or I will never stay clean. with that said right now I just need help. I dont speak to my therapist or psychiatrist because of trust issues regarding them telling my parents when I am 39 years old. I want to speak to them openly and honestly but would like it to stay in the room and not reported back to my family. But yes I know "honesty" I am desperate to be honest. please advise, because I am at a loss and I am tired of this spiral. I am scared I end up dead (be it a heart attack, a stroke or suicide) |
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 mote.of.soul, nushi
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,189
(SuperPoster!)
6 22k hugs
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Oct 01, 2018 at 08:09 AM
#2
Quote:
Hi niqa22. Hang in there friend. Your situation may seem hopeless right now but things can always change for the best. Have you considered checking into rehab? There's a possibility they might be 12 Step based, but that's okay because you could also explore other options as well, within a safe, supportive environment? And once you get a little clean time under your belt things may begin to change for the better. I think it's worth some thought. |
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 nushi
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Cape Town
Posts: 4
5 |
Oct 02, 2018 at 11:59 AM
#3
Quote:
HI and thanks for the kind words. I am going for an assesment at a rehab tomorrow. I think its for the best, |
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| mote.of.soul
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mote.of.soul, nushi
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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