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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 8
17 |
Jul 03, 2008 at 08:36 PM
#1
Hi,
I am new here so be patient with me please. I have a question but I need to give some background first. When I was in my teens I started to drink and party. This went on for several years. I had the lost week-ends, black outs, etc. If I couldn't drink wherever, I wouldn't go. 18 years ago I was able to lay it down. Then about 5 years ago I go hooked on oxycontin. Ended up in detox. This is when I learned about being an addict. I'm not the brightest light bulb in the box sometimes. I never drank for fear that I would go back to the way I was. But if I could get my hands on some vicodin, I would do it. I take Adderall and from time to time abuse it. Recently I had a beer. Tasted good, had another but didn't finish the second one. Later, had some vicodin but it didn't make me feel better like it usually does. Can anyone tell me what is going on? It's like I can't get those old familiar feelings but I keep looking for them??? __________________ Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear. Mark Twain |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jul 03, 2008 at 08:50 PM
#2
Its possible thats whats going on - you may have become so used to the effects of opiates that the same high doesn't feel the same.
I know that when i started, a single oxy would make me feel HIGH as hell, but at the end and even now i could take five and feel nothing. Thats the cycle of addiction - you require more and more and more each time to get the same high. ((big hugs)) |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: Ohio, Akron
Posts: 94
15 |
Jul 04, 2008 at 07:51 PM
#3
I started drinking and using at 11. I like whatever will get me out of reality and will do anything to be able to do that. But then came a time where nothing worked. I could not imagine life with or without chemicals and had to go to AA/NA whatever and get help. Only you can decide is your an addict or not.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: NJ/NYC
Posts: 128
15 |
Jul 04, 2008 at 09:47 PM
#4
Hi Sashagirl, wondering if you are in therapy. Sounds like you are self medicating an underlying illness problem. You didn!t express a desire to stop whatever label is put on your drug abuse. If you want to stop I recommend www.rational.org Keep us informed.
__________________ D.A.R.E. to keep KIDS OFF: Ritalin and other amphetmines Zyprexa and other antipsychotics Prozac and other anti-depressants DRUGS |
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 8
17 |
Jul 05, 2008 at 09:33 AM
#5
I am not in therapy now. Would like to be but don't know how to find someone I can trust. I don't have many friends so that isn't a resource for referral. Also live in a small town about 45 min. from big city. But I am searching.
Yes, I want to quit the self medicating but it is so scary. I have been so close to what I call the "black whole" (suicidal thoughts) that I am terrified of going there again. I will check out the website you recommended. Thank you. Did I mention that I can't spell? Now ya'all know my other secret =). __________________ Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear. Mark Twain |
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