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#1
Jan 18, 2009, 09:51 PM
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my friend grew up in mexico and came to canada 6 months ago. I always find beer in his room or other alcholoic beverages. He often drinks by himself. I think he drinks about 2 or 3 a day by himself. Is this a good thing?...I've told him to get the drinks out of his room and to enjoy life without the need for alcohol. He constantly wants me to be with him and keep him company. and when I leave...I think that's when he drinks. I don't know what to do. I like him as a person...but I'm afraid I don't really know the realy him because I don't know if he's been drinking or not. I've only known him for about a month and a half. what do I do. I know it should be his decision to stop drinking....but...I dunno I guess it's bad if I want to change who he is...i don't want to hurt his feelings...but I told him i was concerned that he is an alcoholic. my mom had an alcoholic father....and I do't think it's a fun experience for anyone to go through
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 "...I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." (U2)  |
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#2
Jan 18, 2009, 10:35 PM
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It sounds like he may have a problem, but unfortunately you can't force a person to admit to having a problem and then having them fix it - without admiting it to themselves first.
Does he have any other friends? Perhaps getting him to meet others will be a good thing for him. Beyond that: If it bothers you, and hurts you emotionally - YOU need to leave for your own wellbeing. I'm sad saying that, because it sucks... but its ultimately you needing to take care of yourself FIRST.
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 myoasis89
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#3
Jan 19, 2009, 09:22 AM
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only your friend can decide if he has a problem but what you can do is share the story with him about your grandfather. you can also attend alanon meetings to share with others the conflict you are having. that won't change his way of thinking but it might help you.
it sounds like you're a good friend and i thinnk it shows wisdom that you've benefitted by your mom's telling you about your grandfather's drinking. you can also pray for your friend. if he shows an interest in what you are sharing about his drinking, offer to attend a 12 step program of recovery with him (aa) to be a supportive friend.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| myoasis89
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#4
Jan 19, 2009, 09:26 AM
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Can he drink just one drink?
That is often a good tool for measuring our dependence.. Early in my battle with my disease a man came to me and said that in AA they say to go to 90 meetings in 90 days... He say try drinking one drink a day for 90 days..He sayid iof I can do this...I am probably not an alcoholic.. I knew I couldn't.... Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
| Capp, myoasis89
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#5
Jan 20, 2009, 02:05 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"...I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." (U2) |
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#6
Jan 20, 2009, 10:31 AM
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forgot to mention there's alanon...for loved ones to better learn how to deal with and cope with someone who has a drinking problem. it's free and a support group just like aa. hope this helps.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#7
Jan 26, 2009, 11:34 PM
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He may be drinking out of boredom. But 3 or more a day is certainly leading to a problem. A few months ago I was drinking too much beer out of boredom. I mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she changed my prescription to include one that doesn't work with alcohol. I haven't had a beer since. I simply needed a reason not to drink. But boredom drinking can develop into habit and addiction.
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| myoasis89
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