[inkblot]

This subject has been on my mind lately. I got a prescription for Vicodin from my doctor for "breakthrough pain", but thanks to emailing him, also other pains/headaches that I get when my kidneys aren't working right because of my normal pain medicine. Anyway, I found that I can get that "high" feeling to variable degrees on just one pill. It used to be that one or two tabs of it only got rid of the pain, and it would take several to get a high feeling.

I admit, I have doubled-up a few times. Including doing it an hour apart--and by the way, I honestly didn't enjoy it as I expected. I only have a few tablets left. It was filled just over a month ago, so I think its not too bad, but I still feel kinda guilty. I want him (my doctor) to trust me. I also want to trust myself. I emailed my doc that I have been tempted to take several and get a good "high" so he knows that I am concerned about possibly really doing something. I really, really appreciate that he prescribed the Vicodin for me! He didn't have to because of my history of OD'ing on Tylenol, which of course is one of the ingredients in Vicodin.

My regular pain medicine is hard on kidneys and causes damage, so when they act up and make me sick, I get more pains and headaches and without the Vicodin, the "cure" will actually only make the problem worse! I love having something extra for pain again when I need it! I am afraid of abusing it though. I can tell it will be hard! I am allergic to everything else so there really are no other alternatives for pain medicine.

[nightbird]

(((inkblot)))

it's nice to see you!

i'm sorry you are experiencing pain to begin with... is the underlying cause of the pain able to be handled and cured, and if not, have you sought help from an acupuncturist or some other form of complementary medicine practitioner<>

(lost my question mark, sorry)

I hope that you do not, (in case this is the best route for you) get into the habit of looking to get high, but rather focus on healing yourself instead.

I have had to take pain medications, and what kept me from abuse is that not only could further harm come to me if I took more than what is prescribed without a discussion with my Dr., but I really like to be conscious and aware and feel alive ... not deadened by pain medications, so that helped me.

I think we have to find something from within us to move forward when there is difficulty in our lives. I don't know how people can do that if they are not present, mentally or emotionally, to the best of their ability.

Not to preach, and I'm sorry if I'm coming off that way to you, Dear Inkblot, but I don't see how adding more pills on top of what is adequate to help your pain, is life-affirming, or going to help your body systems, in general.

Tylenol can hurt the liver in large doses, and they put alot of tylenol in vicoden.

If you don't want to lose your prescription, and the trust your Dr. put in you to take these, I would suggest you taper down, and apply all the wherewithall you have to resist over-medicating in order to get high...

There is help out there, if you feel you need it, and it doesn't hurt to check out what others have done to overcome the desire to over-medicate.

I wish you the very best, and hope that you overcome this, and I want you to know that I care ... about you.

Love and Peace,
Night

xoxo

isn't this a serene place <> nice vista ... xo