[Hunny]

About a month ago someone came to our meeting and since then I have thought: "What more could I have done?"

He was kind of angry is how I would put it. He was very skeptical of the spiritual part of the AACOA thing.

I felt he left frustrated. Okay, so there is a recommendation to go to 6 meetings before settling somewhere so he may hear elsewhere but I thought perhaps I could address at least one of the names of the 'God of our understanding'.

At times, until people decide what they want they have been known to use the phrase 'good orderly direction' (god). Then, they don't have to use a faith based god, at least for the time being and maybe never andmaybe that's all they will ever use. Other people have used the whole group, a kind of consensus, as their higher-power.

I just wanted to say this in case others may be struggling with this concept and I hope it gives a bit of definition.

I know there are many others ways (higher power) people have but I kinda wanted to let people know they can use these two until they adopt whatever they want and it may allow them, in their own minds, to participate still.

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[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by Hunny

About a month ago someone came to our meeting and since then I have thought: "What more could I have done?"

He was kind of angry is how I would put it. He was very skeptical of the spiritual part of the AACOA thing.

I felt he left frustrated. Okay, so there is a recommendation to go to 6 meetings before settling somewhere so he may hear elsewhere but I thought perhaps I could address at least one of the names of the 'God of our understanding'.

At times, until people decide what they want they have been known to use the phrase 'good orderly direction' (god). Then, they don't have to use a faith based god, at least for the time being and maybe never andmaybe that's all they will ever use. Other people have used the whole group, a kind of consensus, as their higher-power.

I just wanted to say this in case others may be struggling with this concept and I hope it gives a bit of definition.

I know there are many others ways (higher power) people have but I kinda wanted to let people know they can use these two until they adopt whatever they want and it may allow them, in their own minds, to participate still.

.

Hi there Hunny,

How are you, sweetheart?

Having attended both AA and Al-Anon/ACofA meetings, I came away noticing one major difference between the approach that the members take to accepting the principles of the 12-step programs.

In AA, there is more emphasis on humility. You will hear things like, "All you need to know about God is 1)there is one, and 2)you're not him.
They also use things like what you said about considering the whole group as the higher power until a person can decide for themselves who or what their higher power is to them.

Now, please don't take this as an insult, but the nature of Al-Anon's and ACofA's (remember I'm one, too) is that we all try to have the "correct" or "logical" answer to all of our questions about the program. The truth is, there are no correct answers. The program is highly personal. It means different things to each person. Of course, there are guidelines and traditions, etc. but as far as questions of interpretation of some of the key points, those are up to each member.

Sometimes, all you can say is "keep coming back" and hope that they do. They have to decide that for themselves.

[Hunny]

Oh, Vickie, this is so true.

Thanks for this shot of humility. I have found that the AAr's I've met have the passion for humility, if I can put it that way and a generosity for service that I learn from.

When my own dad went through the AA program he called his higher power green grass and __________. And I leaving out the second word to protect his anonymity, even though he is passed. It was quite something for me to recognize that even though I have a more formal god of my understanding (well sort of, in a spiritual way) I had to realize that he could make up any rules he wanted to.

Another member reminded me recently that they could use the name dog spelled backwards if that would make them feel any better.

This person who came to our group has not come back, which is fine, but I am grateful for this forum in order to kind of make up for not saying anything to him at that meeting.

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[Christina86]

I really like that! Sounds like an awesome way to reach out to those who may be struggling with that aspect of the program.