[WendyAussie]

Hi everyone. I am new to the Group, although I am on another group on this website. I come from a violent, abusive and neglectful alcoholic home which has contributed to a lifetime of problems. I have severe psychiatric illnesses and am also a 12 years sober member of AA. I am on a Disability Support Pension due to my mental illnesses and I nearly lost my life to them 3 years ago. I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and have been so sick and so busy dealing with these issues that I haven't been able to put Alanon on top of everything else. But I was very comfortable knowing that I would get to Alanon eventually, when the time would be right, as my Mum went to Alanon and it changed her life. And I am alive as a result of being in a 12 Step Fellowship so I know that methodology works for me.

A series of events with aggressive and violent male alcoholics in recent times has pushed me to a point of desperation, and feeling that all the good, hard work I have done for myself was going to unravel because I have been in terrible fear of these aggressive male alcoholics, some of whom are sober and clean and others who are not sober and clean, but all aggressive and some violent.

So I had a revelation on Monday night - which came out of immense pain. It's TIME for Alanon. And I felt great relief once that thought and that decision was made. I live in a country town and there is only one meeting a week (and only 3 ACOA meetings in all of Australia), but it happened that the meeting was on the next day, Tuesday, at 1.00pm. I got there early and that was good because I met two ladies who had obviously been around for sometime in the Program and I got an idea of the "Rules of the Road". I really liked the meeting, I found it very gentle compared to the aggression that has come my way recently. I got to do a reading and to share briefly about what has been happening and I was able to straight away, be honest about my own part in an issue with one of my actively drinking and using alcoholic/addict brothers, as in dropping the boundaries I had with him and it causing some of my misery for myself.

So here I am because I think it would be great if I could participate in an online group to help me move forward on these issues.

[madisgram]

so glad u found us! welcome. sounds like u're willing to go to any lengths to help yourself. congrats on your 12 years of recovery. now u're on the path to address challenges being an ACOA. it will surely help.

as for dating unhealthy guys try this site for suggestions to help you....and avoid them by the signs...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/liz-br..._b_858950.html

[Leed]

Hi Wendy ~ And WELCOME!! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you need us.

I also came from a violent, neglectful alcoholic home, and I went thru therapy for years dealing with it.

I'm also a recovering alcoholic, with almost 18 years sobriety. I also have gone to Al-Anon due to my son's drinking, and having to learn that I enabled him terribly. It's funny that you can't see what you're doing when you're doing it. But I soon found out that I needed to set boundaries and STICK to them, which I found difficult, because I love my son ~ but if I was to help him in any way I HAD to.

He is still drinking after many years of "boundaries" ~ and I pray I won't have to bury him, but everyone's bottoms are different and his may be exceptionally deep.

Again, I'm glad to welcome you, and hope you find what you need here. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[Twisti]

Hello and Welcome

[Elana05]

Welcome Wendy!

I have found both Al Anon and ACoA helpful. Hope you find some help and comfort there and here on PC as well. Many good wishes...

E.

[WendyAussie]

Thanks everyone!! Twisti, I love the grahic. I'm up at 5.00am Thursday because I had to go to bed early last night, I was walking arund the house bumping into walls I was so exhausted and depeleted (it's OK, I apologised to the walls!! LOL). The events leading me to the decision about Alanon and going there for the first time have taken a terrible toll on my body. Without going into gruesome details I have chronic IBS and when a crisis hits with major stress, my tummy reacts violently and I have acute IBS and it just feels like my body is being torn apart. So I'm just going to have to be very gentle with myself for the rest of the week. I have a Psych nurse coming to my home as I am going off a large dose of a big Bipolar drug and she is looking after that and she was her yesterday. I'm seeing my new psychologist today and I saw her for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I think she's going to be great. Both women are great and I desperately need someone to talk to, but going through everything that has been happening (and I have several major medical things happening too), is very exhausting.

But you know one funny thing I thought of the otther day, if I DO stick with Alanon, which I am determined to do, I never have to walk through their doors for the first time again ever.

Now here's something crazy wonderful. On Tuesday night, the day I went to the Alanon Meeting, I went out to the garage with a torch to look at some of my book holdings as I though, but wasn't sure that I had some of Mum's Alanon books (she died three and a half years ago). Well, I found FIVE BOOKS. I opened one and it had her handwriting in it - beautiful Copperplate script that people were taught in my Mum's generation. I was knocked over as I realised she had held and read these books, and it really made me feel she was with me on this journey. Something freakish happened with regards to Mum, who had died 5 months before, several years ago when I nearly died and she had been there for me. I 'm a skeptic and a cynic about stuff like that so for me to feel she is with me is a big thing. So I have her books now and I am off and running.

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by WendyAussie

beautiful Copperplate script that people were taught in my Mum's generation.

Really cool. I had to look that one up.
Hope your tummy feels better. E.

[Leed]

Wow, how cool is that to feel that you have your Mom walking the walk with you? That's great!

After you've been in Al-Anon a little while, pick a woman who has been in the program for awhile to be your sponsor ~ she'll be someone who you can talk to and someone who will guide you thru the Steps & the Book. It's a great journey. God bless. Hugs, Lee