[zolag3]

Well, my grandmother, or my mum's mother, was an alcoholic. And she really mentally abused my mother, which is largely why my mother is mentally unstable. My mum told me all about her childhood, and all the horrible things my grandma used to do. How she would get drunk all the time, how my grandfather just let everything happen. How totally effing nuts my grandmother was.

Well now I hate my grandmother, or I hated, she's dead now and I'm happy about that, and I don't really care that much for my grandad.

I'm just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation to me? My psychologist says I've become a mum to my mum and all I want to do is protect her.

[Leed]

My Grandmother wasn't abusive, but my mother was. She was the alcoholic. There were 4 kids in our family and I'm the 3rd one. My mom and dad were BOTH alcoholics. They NEVER gave us ANY kind of affection at all. NOTHING. We were treated like the furniture. We got absolutely nothing. There was one exception. My oldest sister was preferred. She was their favorite because she was "sickly" as a baby, but she had an operation and was just fine afterwards. Big deal!!! Why was that such a big deal === she recovered, right? But she was their "pet." She used to do HATEFUL things to me -- I dont' know why she chose me, but she hated me. Some of the things were cruel, and they were painful --- if I told my mother, she wouldn't believe me. She said that "I lied." It was always that I lied. Then she would do naughty things and I would get blamed for it, even tho there was NO proof that I did ANYTHING. So i would get slapped for it -- even tho my sister did it. Needless to say I hated her. This continued until she left home at 19. She was 7 yrs older than me.

When she came home for my mom's death, she was 59yrs old, and she started in with the SAME OLD STUFF!!! Wouldn't you think she would have grown up by then?

Living in an alcoholic home is horrible. You see things you shouldn't, you hear things you shouldn't. It's just a nightmare.

I went into therapy in my mid 2o's due to that. In fact, I committed myself to a mental hospital for 2 weeks at one point cause I had a nervous breakdown. That was the best thing I've ever done for myself. They really helped alot! Then after I got out, I saw my psychiatrist for a year. I didn't see a therapist again until perhaps 10 yrs later, and that therapist MOLESTED ME!!! I was so mentally sick at the time, I didn't know what was going on -- until he got too close, and then I ran from the office. There was no rape, but he still molested me. I didn't see a therapist again for rprobably 5 more years, and this time I found a female and she was AWESOME! She helped me more than any of them ever had. I stayed with her a long time, and then "graduated." LOL I haven't needed one since, and that was about 15 yrs ago.

Your Mom could probably use some therapy if she hasn't already. Getting to the root of the problem, and then airiing all this is the best thing she could do for herself. I know she has some issues about her past. She can't keep that hidden anymore. She needs to get it all out with a trained professional. I hope she can do it.

God bless & I'm so glad she has YOU. Take care. Hugs, Lee