[pandarama123456789]

maybe not as bad, but im falling into the same lifstyle it seems. I like drinking, i like being drunk. I like when I black out and cant remember what I did the night before. It's comforting somehow... I just like how alchohol makes me feel. I idndnt used to, I used to just get severly depressed when I drink, but not anymore. And I'm not really caring. alchoholism is in my genes, I caome from a long line of alchoholics, so how is it wrong that I fall into my 'family heritage'? I just like exploring my drunken mind, especially when around people. It seems more open (my mind) when alchohol is put ijnto the equation. and i bring with me that drunken exploration and try to rationalize it into smething I cam umderstand. Im not sure if it comes out to be the same thing though, but it turns into something. oay, and ****, i just realized my razor is in my lap.... i like how pain feels when im drunk

[pandarama123456789]

by the way, I just turned 18 =P

[Leed]

My friend, the way you're drinking now, you'll be glad if you live to be 40. Your liver isn't going to be able to handle this abuse.

Have you ever seen someone in liver failure. I have. My own son. He was put on life support. He was totally YELLOW. His liver had stopped working, and his other organs were shutting down. He needed help breathing on his own. I asked the doctors how long he had, and the doctor just shook his head.

If you keep on drinking you will CERTAINLY DIE. There is no doubt about it. It's not a pretty death, and it's painful.

Go to AA -- get clean and sober. You're too young to die. Please stop. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[layla11]

When I went into black outs it scared me, DWI is a very serious. I hope your not driving. I see it every morning on the news were someone killed someone on the highway drunk. Sometimes they are not even that drunk but it doesn't matter if you meet the blood alchol standards of whatever is , you go to jail and your life is ruined. And you can be sure these people didn't plan on going out and killing someone. Alcohol, makes you do stupid things and only leads to getting in trouble somehow. Don't think your to young to have health problems, these thing sneak up on you and before you know it, its to late and your in a situation you don't want to be in. Once you reach a turning point your health will decline, your looks will go and nobody respects you. Your young make the decisions to go in the right path, its going to make a big difference when you get older and you will be glad you did. Try working out, doing some voluntary work, doing something you enjoy. Help other people.

A girl that was 21 year old and drunk, lost control of her car at 2:30 in the morning and recked into a freind of mines house ,where they both died from the fire set off, by the gas main. Screaming was going on, but no one could help them out.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Get help. This is no way to live, but it is a sure way to die. Even if you don't die for a long time, this path is a very easy way to rob yourself of the chance at a successful life.

[Blue Coral]

I know you aren't going to stop just because you are told too. It never stopped my farmily members or certain friends. You have to want to. You KNOW what you are doing is risky and dangerous. Sometimes we have too learn things the hard way. But if you can get help now, you may not have to learn this particular lesson the hard way. You are young, why go through that pain and hardship that could last for years, if not your whole life, if you don't have too? Why risk potentially cutting your life short? Find a reason not to get drunk so you don't hurt yourself or your loved ones.

[Jan50]

Hello - You talk of 'family heritage' and say 'it's comforting' to be drinking like your father. Perhaps you find it easier to fall into the patterns of behaviour you've witnessed all your life than to contemplate moving on and finding a different way to be. Does it feel as though you have to reject your family in order to live a healthier life? Perhaps that feels hard for you. Others on this forum have warned you about the risks of what you are doing to yourself but until you can picture a better life for yourself than the one your family has shown you, those warnings might not have the impact on you that they should.

[LightningMan]

Pandarama, this is no way to live and a great way to die. You're worth more than this. Get help.

[Open Eyes]

pandarama, the way you "like" alcohol is an illusion. What is really going on is first, at age 18 your brain is still developing and it will continue to do so until you are about 25 years old. The alcohol will interfere with your brain reaching it's full capacity.

When you begin the journey into alcoholism you are stopping your ability to grow and mature and actually learn how to deal with life. The "thinking you talk about, the exploring" is not growing at all, it is disengaging with life, not growing and maturing, but infact decending into "failure".

If you become an alcoholic, you will have no chance of love or anything else in life. And if you do love, or someone falls in love with you, you will hurt them badly and not only destroy their life, but if you have chilren will leave them very troubled.
18 is not the right age to make that kind of decision.

Pretty much anyone can become an alcoholic, it doesn't have to be hereditary. You "can" choose to clean up your act and actually "have a life".

Open Eyes

[kishamac02]

Originally Posted by pandarama123456789

maybe not as bad, but im falling into the same lifstyle it seems. I like drinking, i like being drunk. I like when I black out and cant remember what I did the night before. It's comforting somehow... I just like how alchohol makes me feel. I idndnt used to, I used to just get severly depressed when I drink, but not anymore. And I'm not really caring. alchoholism is in my genes, I caome from a long line of alchoholics, so how is it wrong that I fall into my 'family heritage'? I just like exploring my drunken mind, especially when around people. It seems more open (my mind) when alchohol is put ijnto the equation. and i bring with me that drunken exploration and try to rationalize it into smething I cam umderstand. Im not sure if it comes out to be the same thing though, but it turns into something. oay, and ****, i just realized my razor is in my lap.... i like how pain feels when im drunk

I can totally relate to that, when I was 16 years old I used to get drunk and high to avoid dealing with my emotions (still do, but not as often). I would tell myself that I'm just taking the edge off, because I'm really tense and uptight when I'm not intoxicated. Drinking clears my mind and helps me focus on one thing at a time, otherwise my mind is filled with thoughts that are just all over the place. When my drinking gets too much, I take a break from drinking (about 2 - 3 months without drinking) just to make sure that I'm not becoming an alcoholic like my mum. I don't want the reason I quit drinking to be because of her, I want it to be because of me. But I like drinking and have no reason to quit.

[JadeAmethyst]

Ok Pan, your dad did drink, but you don't have to really.
get help, get well, get yourself right with yourself, you matter, you are here and you are alive.

Please get well
JA

[Perna]

Originally Posted by pandarama123456789

I like when I black out and cant remember what I did the night before. I just like exploring my drunken mind

That's what I did not like about drinking; it was fine for a bit but then I wanted it to stop but I was not in control. Too, you can't get anywhere with your explorations if you black out and can't remember; can't have it both ways.

[Kandicane68]

My father is an alcoholic, and I have always tried making him realize this. Telling him all the horror stories (ranging from accidentally killing another person to causing a slow and painful death for himself). Now while I still hope the same for him, I can't help to follow in his foot steps... and possibly worse. I find myself drinking on the week nights for comfort or just an escape.. I also find myself looking for something stronger to help with these feelings or lack of. I am not sure why I have no remorse for my own doings, I know that they are wrong and I truly would hate doing something like that to my family.