My father programmed me to be a father to him?

My father had a father who was an alcoholic. He was a problem and the one who never been there for his his children. My father, the oldest child, took the responsibilities and the "missing father" role in the house. Now, my father has 62 years and I am realizing this.

For years now, I am reading stuff about "Adult children of alcoholics" subject, and I know how my father has been programmed cause of his troubled childhood. He still has a demons of the past, he manipulate with the sounds he make, serving us sounds that he is in one side of the house and then he slowly moves to another, where nobody assume he is... He constantly recreates his father, but with it he recreates fears of him, and he often mistakes me with him unconsciously.

Now, there are years behind trying to understand his psychology, and my life is stuck.
What is the worst; I am surrounded with one parent friends! Its like I have some ability to take an attitude of a person who is understanding, comforting and problem-solving (parent).
I am constantly stuck in this role. I will be 31 and my relationship is based on a girlfriend who has only a mother... we are 7 months together. Today she said that she constantly thinks that a person who she longs for, will suddenly wake up in me! Damn..

Anybody has an opinions about my stuck situation?

Evidently the nurturing role you have learned in dealing with your father must be noted when you meet these other people who have only one parent. I didn't quite understand what you were saying about your girlfriend, but I assume it was that she is thinking of you as like her dead father.

Do you have access to a ACOA group in real life? Maybe you can talk to some of them about it.

I would talk to your girlfriend some more if I were you. Some women are attracted to father figures. That can be okay, depending on what they want from a father. Most women do want some nurture, but is your girlfriend also able to stand on her own two feet?

You might also consider some therapy to try to work on these issues, given that your father will be requiring even more role reversal if he lives long enough and becomes less capable.

Thanks a lot PAYNE1 for your reply!

My girlfriends father is not dead, he and her mother had divorced 8 or 9 years ago. But I can see her longing for male attention a lot. She was always jumped from one relationship to another, she could never stand to be alone. In our relationship, she is the one who always calls for our meeting; I cannot remember when was the time when I had a stronger wish to see her. Her wish was always sooner and more impulsive.

The thing about my mother and father; they are like one divorced couple who stayed together just cause of their children and material goods for their children sake. They don't care for each other, they always pretend that everything is just fine between them. Thats why I get this manipulation thoughts all the time; that all around me manipulate with me, but it is them who do that.

Just cannot wait to get away from this home. I'm working now on searching a job.

Anyway, thanks PAYNE1 for your time and care!

You're welcome!