[babydoll123]

Hi, I'm just looking for how to react to my father's love of alcohol. He's either at work or drunk. Sober and even buzzed he is unbearable. He wont talk to anyone in my family and he hates us. He will fight with my mom (and she will tell me their fighting/ "soon to be divorce" is my fault). I am a teenager(older end of the spectrum, but don't want to say exactly) and the oldest. My little brother told me he was afraid my dad would leave, my mom would kill herself because of it, and i would be at college, so he would be all alone. It made me bawl my eyes out. He shouldn't be afraid of that but i don't think he's wrong. I think my dad's drinking is the reason he is still here honestly. My mom doesn't see a problem with it, but complains all the time about it. Everyone just thinks it's okay and I'm about at my wits end. I feel like I do cause their fights and if I wasn't here they wouldn't hate each other and i just want to know how to deal with this. Sorry if this isn't the right place, I just didn't know where else to go since none of my friends get it. They try to help but they don't understand. Also I've tried talking to them and everyone refuses to acknowledge it as a problem.

((babydoll123))
I'm sorry for the troubles you're going thru..I can totally relate, except in my case it was my mother who was the alchololic. Until she quit drinking with the help of AA it was hell on earth, on a daily basis. My brother and I are still coping with how we grew up and she did most of her heaviest drinking and damage when I was at the 'older spectrum' of teen years.
I recommend finding a chapter of Al Anon or Al Ateen in your area. They are a wonderful support group and one of the main reasons I survived at all. I know they can help you. Keep posting here as well, people here are good and kind and will offer advice or just an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, as you need.

[Liz07]

Originally Posted by babydoll123

Hi, I'm just looking for how to react to my father's love of alcohol. He's either at work or drunk. Sober and even buzzed he is unbearable. He wont talk to anyone in my family and he hates us. He will fight with my mom (and she will tell me their fighting/ "soon to be divorce" is my fault). I am a teenager(older end of the spectrum, but don't want to say exactly) and the oldest. My little brother told me he was afraid my dad would leave, my mom would kill herself because of it, and i would be at college, so he would be all alone. It made me bawl my eyes out. He shouldn't be afraid of that but i don't think he's wrong. I think my dad's drinking is the reason he is still here honestly. My mom doesn't see a problem with it, but complains all the time about it. Everyone just thinks it's okay and I'm about at my wits end. I feel like I do cause their fights and if I wasn't here they wouldn't hate each other and i just want to know how to deal with this. Sorry if this isn't the right place, I just didn't know where else to go since none of my friends get it. They try to help but they don't understand. Also I've tried talking to them and everyone refuses to acknowledge it as a problem.

Hi babydoll,

I can also relate to your story. My father is a functioning alcoholic, meaning that he pretty much stays either buzzed or drunk day-in and day-out while simultaneously successfully completing his job throughout the week. However, he is also unbearable when he is sober. When he is sober, he is impatient and irritable, and when he is drunk he is inappropriate, hateful, critical, and loud.

I can sense the anger and frustration in your post, and I know it has to be so hard to hear those types of things coming from your little brother. As the user before me posted, I also recommend you find an Al-Anon/Alateen meeting to attend, as they are great for getting support from others in your shoes while still retaining anonymity. Go to this website to locate a meeting in your area: Find A Local Meeting

Keep us posted. We are all here for you and are supporting you!

[babydoll123]

if I were to want to attend an Alateen meeting, but no one in my family will admit the problems are just that, problems. how do I explain where Im going?

[avlady]

Just go and say you're going somewhere else like a friends house even if you have to lie, you're better off working on getting help than worrying about a white lie to get help.