[FMW546]

I posted the other day about my dad's death on March 30th. My dad was an alcoholic and I've struggled with how to handle all the comments on what a great guy he was--when it was far from true at home.

The last couple of days I've been questioning so much why my mom enabled him so much, put us in harms way, allowed him to hit us, etc. Quite frankly, I'm getting angry at her.

The final straw was when she explained to me, "your father couldn't help it."

Yet, my brother who is developing a drink problem is completely at fault (according to mom) for his drinking.

Why would she make excuses for husband--but accuse/condemn her son?

Someone please help me understand?

[LibertyBelle]

"Why would she make excuses for husband--but accuse/condemn her son?"

As an enabler, she doesn't want to blame herself and will blame anyone else. You haven't done anything wrong, you are not the problem.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by FMW546

I posted the other day about my dad's death on March 30th. My dad was an alcoholic and I've struggled with how to handle all the comments on what a great guy he was--when it was far from true at home.

The last couple of days I've been questioning so much why my mom enabled him so much, put us in harms way, allowed him to hit us, etc. Quite frankly, I'm getting angry at her.

The final straw was when she explained to me, "your father couldn't help it."

Yet, my brother who is developing a drink problem is completely at fault (according to mom) for his drinking.

Why would she make excuses for husband--but accuse/condemn her son?

Someone please help me understand?

It's not easy for me to say this...because I always want to understand "why"...but the why does not matter. Remember she is ill as well. Take care of you!