[peaceseeker63]

I spent the weekend with one of my sister's, and she related a memory she had of our childhood.
She said she remembers the two of us, plus another sister huddling in bed together,

Possible trigger:

while downstairs, our drunk dad yelled up to us "come down and watch me kill your mother!

.
It just made me feel sick! I don't remember this particular incident, but it reinforces to me why I need my 12 step groups,my therapist, and my psych so much! So much hate and abuse. So many incidences that were traumatizing and never resolved!
I don't how else to heal from this stuff! Sometimes, I try to pretend that I grew up in he perfect family, or had "normal" dysfunction. But we had way more than that!

[CANDC]

Peaceseeker, sorry to hear you have suffered emotional and other abuse. No person should have to live through that and the uncertainty. There is a forum survivors of abuse.
Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

You are so lucky to have your siblings, but be careful of taking on their negative memories. Those that you don't remember may not be the ones that obstruct the way.

Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps me in balance. If you are not sleeping or having bad side affects, you might want to contact your doctor or psychiatrist and tell them what is happening so you can make adjustments.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

This article talks about self care. Seeing what you have been through some self nurturing may be just what you need along with some hugs.
What is Loving Self-Care | In Your Own Hands

There is so much on the Psych Central website or private message me for more info.

[brainhi]

Nighttime was always the worst... when he was very drunk. I understand... and, yes, I agree that sometimes remembering these things are not helpful... and on the other hand, for me, sharing with someone that was there is sometimes validating - if it is not too painful.

[Keyslost]

I'm sorry to hear that that happened. My mom threatened to kill my sister once I still remember it pretty well though I don't think either of them do. Time has helped heal a bit, trust taking the longest time. I've also found that having others as "family" helps as well. You can confide in them and feel safe with them. If it helps you could consider us "family" and start better newer memories here. Hold onto the good ones from the past replace the bad ones?